just dreading December it’s our wedding anniversary on 12th & i lost my world my loving caring precious husband my kenny on 27/12/2022 he was only 59 he wasn’t i’ll i’m the 1 who’s terminal ill we had xmas with our eldest son and grandaughter & with in 48 hours my whole world had collapsed my kenny walked across our living room floor and said to me oh Dee i’m scared love & he just dropped dead in front of me and i tried to help him tried to bring him back but he was gone and when the ambulance & police came thy got my son to come to me & i was sedated and i never got to see my kenny ever again none of us said night night god bless because the people in the mortuary never looked after my kenny properly and he wasn’t put in a fridge so his body was decomposing & HE could,nt be Embalmed and had to have a closed coffin and just 19 days later our little dog ( border collie) Ruby collapsed and had to be pts the vet said she was dieing of a broken heart she was missing her daddy kenny so much
why do all the good ones die i’m so tired so lost so empty with out my my kenny and my little Ruby i’ve buried my kenny with his dad & our twin daughters now i just sit & wait for my kenny to come get me my mind is all over the place some days because we never saw him in the coffin was he really in there ? i will never get over this my kenny was,nt just my husband he was my sole mate my everything & i miss him so bloody much at times i car,nt breath i can’t sleep or eat i dont go out unless i’m going to the cemetery with my son & grandaughter we had so many plans now nothink 
So sorry to hear your story. I don’t believe that there is a timescale/plan as to how we should cope with such a awful loss. My husband died 8 months ago after appearing at the top of the stars one evening in January earlier this year whispering that he needed me to help, he got rushed into hospital and never came home. I am going through a very negative phase at the moment, possibly due to the interfering doctors not listening to my needs. It’s so hard not having our soul mate/partner to talk to and nobody can really understand unless they’ve experienced this. We too had many plans and now I really don’t know what to do. It’s hard but I know my Keef would have wanted me to try and carry on even though he had promised that he’d never leave me on my own. After being together for nearly 44 years it’s very hard to adjust to, what he would have called, my “new normal”. Anyway, life goes on in some sort of strange way and so I’m off to the hairdressers to hopefully make me feel a bit better. Take care and know that people on here are thinking of you Gail xx