Losing parents

I lost my lovely mum on the 29/06/2019 and now after a short illness with brain and lung cancer I have lost my stepdad on the 28/04/2022 . He was never the same after mum died but he was the last thing that connected me to my mum. I feel lost and have days that I am very high and then I can be very low. I lost my grandad a week after my stepdad and I lost my dad on 3/07/1998 .I feel this is all my close family gone . Nobody understands your grief unless they have been through it themselves, finding it very difficult to get through the bad days. Xx


Hi there, I’m so very sorry for your losses. So awful. I can relate to some of how you might be feeling as I lost my mum in February this year. I’m so sorry you have now lost 2 parents. I dread losing my Dad but know it’s going to happen one day. Nothing prepares you for losing your parents. You’re quite right in saying that no one understands what you’re going through unless they have been there themselves, and even then, everyone experiences grief differently. I just want you to know that you have done a good thing in coming onto this forum as everyone has been very kind and supportive and hopefully you won’t feel as alone. It’s good to hear from others who are hurting too, although it’s awfully sad that we have to experience loss. The death of your stepdad is still very recent, so please try to be kind to yourself. It is a very hard thing to process. Sending love and strength and gentle hugs. Take care lovely. Xxx

I know how you feel.

Mine are gone five years but I am still on here! Only child, very attached.

It is a long, long haul. People drop by the wayside all too soon. grief support classes and therapy helped a lot. I still see a therapist.

you have to go real easy on yourself. life is different … you become your own best friend loving yourself as they loved you. sympathies … :gift_heart:

Hi Gemsuey31

Similarly to you i lost my dad suddenly in August 1998 and again suddenly my mum died in June 2019.

It’s hard getting used to both parents going. Just take each day as it comes and things do improve.

I’m changed forever now and I struggle to get much enjoyment in life but I know I have to keep going, as that’s what they would have wanted for me.


Thankyou to all of you that have replied, means alot that somebody can sympathise with my situation and I’m so sorry for all your losses too :cry:.
My mum met my stepdad a few months after losing my dad. Life was never the same after I lost dad. Then I made a new life work my mum and stepdad. I was 17 at the time they got together.
They had a totally different relationship and mum became different when she met him. My mum suffered from alcahol induced phycosis and eventually diagnosed with bipolar.
Many times she was in a mental hospital and my stepdad wasn’t very supportive . They went to greece in June 2019 and again mums mental health deteriated and she also suffered from copd. Whilst there she became very poorly and the insurance did not cover them. We had to repatriate mum home and she died a few days later.
I was devastated to lose my mum in those circumstances and felt my stepdad was to blame but after losing mum I became really close to him as he was all I had left of mum.
He became more dependent on alcahol than he ever had and was constantly falling and in a state. Then after 1 fall he was admitted to hospital on the 03/03/2022 and that’s when we was told he had terminal cancer in his brain and lungs. He died only a few weeks after. Life is so cruel and I feel so empty now there both gone. I know Life has to go on but where to do start when there is so much to do and sort out in the house. I just want to get it over and done with to keep me busy but then that really is the end of their Life and memories together :heart:.
Sorry for the long post I just needed to get it all out my system!

The memories will always be there. I like to think that my mum and dad are back together somewhere. I don’t know in what capacity as I don’t believe in heaven or the afterlife as such, but my mum missed my dad terribly for the 20 years she lived after him.

She died on their 50th anniversary and I like to think that my dad brought her to him.

Like I said, you will always have the sadness and life will never be the same but things will get better and new experiences and good times will happen.

Cheryl x