I lost my mum in January. I was her carer for the past ten years and a carer to my dad before his death 13 years ago. Everyone keeps saying how well I’m doing. Outwardly I’m smiling and Carrying on. Inside I feel like I let them both down and of all the things I should have said and done. I’m sure like anyone in this situation I feel lost and bereft.
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Hello @Emzy ,
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling lost and bereft. I’m so sorry to hear about your parents. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.
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Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
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Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
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Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Alex
@Emzy so sorry for your loss. Don’t be hard on yourself you looked after your parents and they probably wouldn’t have had it any other way. We all put on fronts with people when inside we are falling apart. I lost my mum suddenly at the end of December and it’s tough, I was saying on another chat on this I don’t like the new journey I am on without her. I still having meltdowns as miss her so much as she was a big part of my life always there. You will be the same since you looked after them. They won’t be disappointed so look after yourself and try and be around people where you don’t have to pretend. I went to see my uncle yesterday and asked how he was he said I am not having a good day, it’s nearly a year since my aunt died. He is my go to as he gets it and I don’t have to pretend as he misses his big sister to.
Sending hugs
Valda 
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Thank you. 
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