Losing parents

m an only child. I’ve just turned 40, I’ve been married 14 years and have a son who’s 12. My dad passed away 4 years ago which was traumatic I looked after my mum and spent time with her as I was worried about her being on her own. This year in March my father in law suddenly passed away which again was a shock. 6 weeks later I get no response from my mum who is later found in bed and had passed away in her sleep she was 64 no illness. I just can’t get my head around it all and as I’m the only child I’m dealing with the estate but neither had a will. My son is devastated so trying to look after him my husband dealing with his grief and um trying to deal with mine everything has gone back to normal so quickly and I just don’t know who I am or what I’m doing!!!

Hi Julie.Ann,

I’m so sorry to hear that your mum passed away, so soon after your father-in-law, as well as your dad four years ago. That is such a lot of grief to deal with and it sounds as though you are feeling overwhelmed. I’m glad that you’ve found this site and I hope that it helps a little to be able to get things off your chest here. You are among people who understand here. While you wait for more replies to your post, you might find it helpful to read and reply to these recent posts by others who have also lost both parents:

I’m also sorry to hear that your son is devastated. You might find it helpful to read our information page on supporting teenagers and young people with grief.

Hi julie ann,.

I’m sorry to hear about the losses you have suffered. You are not alone.
My mum died suddenly 11 weeks ago. She suffered a brain hemorrhage 15 mins after routine surgery and it has been such a shock.
She was a young 74 and my best friend in the world. I am also dealing with the estate although I am lucky as mum left a will.
However when dad died he hadnt made one and mum and I spent a year going through probate court.
Are you having to do the same?
Thinking of you.this is the hardest thing we have to face and being without both parents is such a lonely feeling.
Cheryl x

Hi, I’m Matthew. I am genuinely sorry to read your news and how you feel. I lost my dad 20 years ago and feel as though I’m preparing myself by joining here knowing my mum has recently been diagnosed with heart failure. A friend mentioned the concept of equanimity to me today which I’d never heard about before and I hope the link to follow helps you in some way https://www.insightmeditationcenter.org/books-articles/articles/equanimity/

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