Loss after loss

General chat
1

25/3/26 My Dad passed away in hospice after suffering secondary liver cancer he lasted 10 months from the liver diagnosis. :broken_heart:

While Dad was dying I was fighting to get my best friend into the hospice, she had been fighting breast cancer for 22 years :broken_heart: Friend died on the 6/5/26 six weeks to the day of my Dad. 15/5/26 we found out mums has secondary stage 4 lung cancer and then

While my friend was dying my Mum (who has been sick for a long time) was 999 into hospital then on 26th 2 days ago we were told she has 3 months maximum to live. :broken_heart:

I still can’t believe my Dad has gone and then my friend and now my mum. I just don’t know how i am going to get through this. Then I have a sister I don’t speak to and she hadnt spoken to my Dad in 6.5 years. I only speak about my Mum and she has been on after 6 weeks of Dad passing wanting to know about his will and wanting some belongings. I just want her out of my life she has taken up so much of my life since I was a teenager she isnt nice and aggressive. When my Mum has gone I then have no family left :broken_heart:

I have a couple of good friends and husband who are there for me but friends have there own lives and hubby is in work I feel so alone. I am due bereavement counselling next month. I have been my Mums carer for 2.5 years I’m going to be lost. :broken_heart:

1 Like
2

So sorry to hear all this. Puts me in mind of when my mum lost her brother and dad within 6 months of each other.

I believe that set her off on her own path of destruction. She got breast cancer 3 years later and the chain of events led to her dying of vascular dementia in January.

Whatever you do, don’t internalise. Get it all out on the table. That stress and weight needs to come out. Starting with the counselling and this forum.

Its tough but you need to look after your own health. This forum is here for you in whatever way we can.

Daniel

1 Like
3

I hear ‘look after yourself’ several times a day but I can’t think straight, hold a conversation even without forgetting words or what I was going to say.

I can’t sleep at all. It dawned on me last night 3 months is 12 weeks. I know thats obvious but it sounds so different when said like that.

My mum and I have always done a lot together but i’ve been with her most days for the past 2.5 years after her fall. How am I going to keep going without her and Dad. And friend I was friends with for 38 years the longest figures in my life leaving me together forever.i don’t know how I’m going to go on without them

4

You’re not alone in this

Lost my Mum in August 2025, then 4 months later, lost my Dad in January 2026, another 4 months later to May 2026, lost my partner, only yesterday as well.

I took care of all three. My Dad I was taking care of for a lot longer, since 2019, but he still had some independence.

But then my Mum and Dad both got sick around the same time in early 2025, Mum diagnosed with cancer, my Dad had an infection that became malignant. Then a whole year of being with them every day, doing medical admin/errands, and they both ended up in hospice, where they passed. My Dad got transferred to hospice the same day as my Mum’s funeral!! Me and sibling were there for both when they took their last breath.

Once my Dad’s funeral had been done, my partner suddenly got sick with cancer, which was aggressive. I took care of him and saw him every day (we didn’t live together, only 2 year relationship) for the past 3 months. He didn’t want hospice and wanted to be at home, so I sorted out the bulk of the medical admin/palliative home care for him. He passed with his son and nephew by his side.

Like you, I’ve got everyone telling me to look after myself and get some self care, but thinking straight is nigh on impossible at this point now.

I had to shut down my feelings to make sure they got all the care they needed, I did all the organising and practicalities (the NHS really didn’t make things easy!), so I had to keep mentally sharp. But I think I did a lot of the grieving whilst they were still alive as well, I had no choice but to accept they were going.

Right now, I’m beyond exhausted.

I know its not healthy to isolate, but that’s the first thing I want to do - run away to a desert island and be alone for a few months! I feel overwhelmed from 18 months of terminal sickness and dying, that my mind feels too muddled now!

4 Likes
5

As a fellow Arsenal fan I found it hard to celebrate the league win. Whilst others were dancing in the street I wanted to curl up into a ball. How could I celebrate something now my mum has gone. She used to stand outside Highbury waiting for me when I was a teenager.

Im hoping a victory tonight would spark a massive endorphin rush that corrects my brain. I definitely need it.

Its the trying to enjoy things again thats the tough part. Mums face pops into my mind in everything i do.

My mum went through similar bereavement timelines to yours. As you’ve said yourself, not isolating is the key. You’ve taken a good step being on here and sharing to draw strength.

Coyg

Daniel

2 Likes
6

Oh wow I am so sorry. You think you are alone with all this and you really arn’t. I think you have just described me - shut down feelings to get through all this. Don’t want anybody else to go through it. Certainly not together as it is terrible but it is good to know your not alone. It feels like you have been singled out. Sending hugs :broken_heart:

7

So sorry to hear that we really arn’t alone but it does feel that way :broken_heart: sending hugs

8

I’m not usually into football but it was because my late partner was a Gooner, that I’m now a fan in honour of him. He was happy when we had reached the Champion League after 22 years, and he slipped away after that.

Saying that, I was still genuinely gutted we lost the match last night, so maybe I really am a fan :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

2 Likes