Loss has affected my grades and future career prospects

I lost my mum earlier this year to pancreatic cancer. She was so special, loved and loving to many people. We had a large funeral of over 300 people, early in March. We went from having all the support, to nothing. I ploughed on with my examinations for my degree. I have a sponsored place on the degree, but due to emotional trauma, I didn’t perform very well in the exams. I now have to speak with the company about potentially changing my career options. Obviously this is quite upsetting, as on top of bereaving I’m facing set backs in my career. Any advice on going through something like this would be so helpful. How to speak about bereavement to an employer and how to keep your own life moving. I miss my mother dearly, and I don’t want to let myself or her down.

Hi Barbk, Pancreatic cancer is a horrible, cruel disease, my husband also died of it, at far too young an age, it’s quite understandable that you were affected in the way you were, you don’t sound as if you have had a great deal of support from your employer, you are still grieving and will be for a long time, it does get easier, but you never stop missing them, have you tried counselling? sue Ryder does have a counselling service and they maybe able to help you with a way forward, sending love xx

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Thanks Jude. I’m sorry to hear about your husband. It is a horrible disease, and it doesn’t pick and chose who it takes. I wish she was here to help me sort everything out, but hopefully my employer will be understanding and I can move forward soon. I was more disappointed with the lack of support from my uni. I’m glad I’m not alone in thinking grief just goes away. I’m thinking of signing up for the counselling, so now that you’ve said I’ll look into it.

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Dear @barbk, I am so sorry you have lost your mum. When grading your exams the examiners must take into account any circumstances that might have affected your performance, it seems like they have totally ignored the effect grief can have on someone. You should contact your GP and tell them what happened, and your GP might provide a medical note, or you could contact your Student Union, and ask them them to help you here. It is unacceptable that you should be punished for your bereavement, and you should be allowed to resit the exams.

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