Loss of a future

My husband died on 14th March 2020.The lockdown srarted 10 days later ,the day after his funeral.We had been married 50 years.We worked together for 40 years .Everything that was good in our lives was thanks to him.Wonderful holidays ,wonderful hobbies ( he taught me to ski ) He loved every bit of our life ,was a great dad and grandad and had endless patience .I can’t face a future without him in it. Can’t stop crying ,can’t sleep and find the “brave face” difficult when I’m with family.When people ask if I’m ok I reply “fine” when I want to yell that I’ll never be fine again.The overwhelming sadness is for the loss of his future as well as our future.I just don’t know what to do

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Hi Zoe,

I think we all feel like that after the loss of a life partner. Grief sort of puts your live into reverse, if you see what I mean?
I spent nearly 20 blissful years with my husband. He used to say, we were meant to meet each other. His first marriage ended in divorce. I simply had never met the right man at the right time.
I have a deluge of mixed feelings. But your deluge must be at least 2.5 times worse.
All I can say is, only God or destiny can decide when one half of a partnership leaves this earth.
I have been left alive. So, I am, like you, struggling to get on with it. My husband died mid September. I guess I am younger than you. I have no children, bar an adopted son who lives in Indonesia. But I do have 3 dogs, who have forced me to keep on going.
The only suggestion I can make is that it helps if you are able to share your grief rather than struggle with it alone, that may very well help.

Christie xxx

Hi Zoe My dear husband died on the 16th November we were married for 27 years we found each other after previous marriages and never looked back each day was a happy day and we were rarely apart if ever no children for us we both had children each but loved our dogs over the years and called them our children I too am so lost without him he was so kind and gentle and I have looked after him for quite a few years because if his ill health but now I realise he looked after me too and he is now no longer here my children are many miles away so have been totally on my own since the Funeral telephone calls but not the same because of this latest lockdown hate snow and ice and have even been unable to walk outside in case I slip mental I know realise it’s because he was always sure footed and used to go for me or hold my arm if we were together will have to get over it but not able to yet can see no future would like to move nearer my Daughter but cannot see how at the moment have good neighbours but no real friends we were always together have good friends miles away but not here feel totally lost at the moment like many on this site x

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