I was 17 and 6 days before my 18th birthday I suddenly lost my step father that brought me up since I was young. A sudden heart attack while camping with no warning. I called the ambulance and as it was 2am I was told I should call a taxi and was to call back if he got worse, 30 minutes later an ambulance arrived he passed away with me and my mum and other campers that heard him shouting that he couldn’t breathe. It’s just been over a year and my grandad just last week passed away from Alzheimer’s so this is brining up a lot of past and new greif. I get so angry that I couldn’t handle either of these situations and often find myself in quite a rage and it’s pushed everyone away. Do you relate in any way?
Hi @hannah2988,
I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely sharing your experience and how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about both your stepfather and your grandad. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through. It’s completely normal to feel that way.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.
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Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
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Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
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Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone 
Take care,
Becca
Online Community Team