Loss of a twin

I have just joined and wondered if anyone here has lost a twin?

Hello ElizabethD,

Welcome to this community. I’m not too sure whether there is anyone here who has lost a twin, but there are members who have lost brothers or sisters. Here are a couple of recent conversations that you may wish to have a look at:

So lost: https://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-bereavement/so-lost

Only sibling died at 38: https://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-bereavement/only-sibling-died-38

If there’s anything I can do to support you, please do let me know.

Take care,

I will be losing my twin to gallbladder and liver cancer either today or tomorrow. It was diagnosed in April and although we have been estranged these past few years to circumstances out my hand, I always loved him.
I knew the minute I saw him at a family gathering that he had cancer. I felt it. At the time I was going through my own health issues and although the diagnosed I had for myself weren’t great I thought I was going to die soon. I was convinced! In fact, although I’m not well at all and my life expectancy won’t be as long due to my condition, it seems that all the way along he was the one dying. I have been getting his symptoms without knowing. From April until now the cancer has been aggressive and he now lays in a hospital bed, non responsive. I said my goodbyes to him yesterday but the thought he won’t be around has destroyed me. I’m not eating, sleeping and I’m dreading the phone call that is to come to tell me he has passed away.
I have never had a loss in our family, so to lose my twin is so consuming. All I’m thinking about as I don’t want him to die to be alone in a cold mortuary. I don’t want to bury him. I don’t want him to be in heaven alone.
I’m hurting like I’ve never hurt before. I can’t cope now and don’t know how I can even contemplate going to his funeral.
I don’t know what to do. I have anxiety and I don’t want to deal with him leaving me.

Hi Par7,

I’m so sorry to hear that you are about to lose your twin to cancer. It sounds as though you are extremely close and it is understandable that this is incredibly painful for you. I just wanted to let you know that this is an older conversation that you are replying to, so I’m not sure if the poster is still active on the site. We do have currently active users who have lost a sibling - for example, Sister2. You can find a conversation that she started here: https://support.sueryder.org/community/life-after-bereavement/beginning-end

To get more replies and support, you may also wish to consider starting a new conversation yourself: https://support.sueryder.org/thread/add

It is good that you were able to say your goodbyes - our hospice staff say that people can hear you even when they are not responsive. I’m glad that you have found this site and been able to share some of what you are feeling here. It’s really important to have outlets for your emotions, as bottling things up can make them even worse. Try to be kind to yourself and don’t think too far ahead - just take things day by day or even hour by hour.

Hello I lost my twin sister April 2018
I wish I had seen you post before , but wasn’t table to even start communicating with others until now .
As I haven’t found any other twins to discuss things to .

Hi , I’ve just came across your post that you lost your twin , I’ve also lost mine in December 2020 first she got breast cancer then got the all clear , then 4 weeks later she got leukaemia from finding out it was just 8 weeks to losing her ,

Hi I’ve came across your post you lost your twin , I’ve list mine in December 2020 first she got breast cancer then got all clear then with 4 weeks she got leukaemia , I’ve been looking for any one to talk to and find out how they are coping

Hi Maria
sorry to hear you lost your twin. How are you doing?
Although its been 4 years since i lost my twin sister most days seem a struggle.
Yesterday i am driving to work - i was late … i had been dragging my feet not really wanting to go in , but got out eventually… i was chatting to a friend to say i was having a bad day and i pulled up at the traffic lights and in front of me was a white van, with clean me wriiten in the dirt on the back door, then next to it in big writing someone had written ’ HEIDI’ my sisters name… made me smile and i could hear her saying she didn’t want us to be sad.
We used to talk at least 3 or 5 times a week if not everyday… i miss talking to her and its very hard to chat to family about her.
My husband is also struggling .
i forget she left her husband , children and our family members and friends not just me…
She was my rock.
the thing i think i really need to work through is the way she passed, she had MND for 6 mths she passed away at a hospice.myself and her family were with her.
the trauma of that 6 mnth journey i need to work through.
sorry i seem to be rabbling on .
How are you doing?

Hi , I’m getting there slowly , I went back to work to soon last year , so now I’ve been off since December , I’ve been having counselling which as helped me a lot , I’m totally lost with out her we saw each other nearly every day , Today is the anniversary of Claire’s ashes taken to the cemetery , I was going every day to cemetery I just needed to make sure she was ok , now I’m going about twice a week . Maria

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Hi , lost my twin sister in December 2020 she had been breast cancer then Leukaemia

Feel completely lost too.
From those phone calls to chat about nothing to significant issues , to what to wear? we shopped together a couple of times a year, cooking ?? she was a great cook… were as i am not.
But i am trying to be grateful that i had her in my life for 49years, and that she would be kicking me in the direction of the bathroom saying get washed get dressed get out there and start your day.
sending strength and a virtual hug for today.

Hi , just wish I could hear her voice again , I’m not having a goo day feel emotional