Loss of beloved husband

My lovely husband was taken from me after 31 years together. I am a pensioner. My husband was admitted to hospital with heart problems and whilst he was an in patient caught Covid and died. I am heartbroken, he was taken alone in the ambulance, and no visiting during his stay until the hour he passed away. I keep going over and over, should I have sent for the ambulance, should he have gone to hospital, could I have got him home. I cry a lot and cant sleep. I miss him so much. I sit at his grave and talk to him. Is this how grief is, its four months now

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@Kathq It is how grief is. It’s because we loved them and they loved us so much that we are in such a terrible place without them. My husband died at home from a sudden heart attack four months ago on 7 June. We had been married over 40 years. I am also a pensioner. I was glad at the time they did not take him away in an ambulance as there was nothing they could do. What you went through was terrible. Did you have family to help you then and to help you now? I have cried everyday for 16 weeks so you are not alone. It is very early days for us. Sit beside his grave and talk to him it must give you comfort. John’s ashes are waiting until I can scatter them in the sea. I talk to his photograph and kiss him every day. Take care and others on this forum will offer their help. There are some very kind people on here who are further down the road we have found ourselves on.



I have asked myself questions, I called an ambulance & whilst in hospital he caught a hospital infection and died.

Ihave come to the conclusion that we called the ambulance out of love & after that we put our faith in the hospital, that’s all we could have done.

Whatever action you had taken you would have asked questions of yourself.

It’s taken me over a year to stop beating myself up, I think questioning yourself is part of grief & at some point with a lot of soul searching you do come to terms with it.

For me time is a healer, I’m a lot better now then I was at the beginning.


Thank you for sharing how you have coped. My GP has suggested antidepressants may help me get through. I find the sleepless nights, difficult, too much times to think through again and again, what I could or should have done different. We dont get a second chance. Makes you realise how fragile life is

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