I’m struggling every single day after losing my husband of 35 years.
The pain and grief is unbearable. Can’t even manage simple every day tasks. It’s exhausting trying to deal with it.
I have a supportive family, which is good, but it doesn’t detract from how I’m feeling.
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I’m sorry for this devastating loss @lyndal it’s great you have a supportive family but it’s not who we want is it and sometimes it is exhausting trying to keep a brave face as to not upset them or provoke bloody platitudes/unwanted advice isn’t it.
I too am extremely grateful for my family but when they are here with me sometimes I feel more lonely than when they are not. When I am alone for a long time though then I want them back… the truth is I don’t know what I want because I don’t really want anything except my husband back… that’s the only thing I know, everything else feels kinda irrelevant and pointless.
35 years is a lifetime (almost my entire life) so though I am sure grief experts would say it is normal for you to then have an overwhelming amount of grief in response to your beloved companion in life now taken from you I know that doesn’t help much either. Nothing does because it is heartbreaking agony and there is no way around it.
I hope you can find some hours of peace this evening somehow. We have to bear the unbearable and I don’t know how we can do that but each moment we just had a moment where we did it. What the point is I don’t know because where can we go from here but there is a lot we don’t know so until we know something solid maybe treading water like this is all we can do. If you can do a useful task then do it and when you can’t, even if that is most of the time then don’t push. Take care of yourself.
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Thanks for your kind words. X
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Hi lyndal
I am feeling the same. Home is my safe place but painful to be here without him. The silence around every moment remind me he is not here with me.
Friend i used to go out have drifted now hardly messages or call me. There are 2 friend that call ones a week. The day is painfull slow and i dread the evenings. I try to go to the park for 1 hour to come back to a empty home. Cannot get the motivation to fo anything but going for walk give me a sence of achieve something. I have a counselling support and the recomendation is to try to wake up st the same time (what for) i think is to get into routine.
I used to have the routine with my husband all seems that it doesn’t matter special in the days when i am feeling tesrfull modt of the days. Do i keep reading this pages because nobody else can understand why i have not move on and continue with my life. My life and heart has gone with my husband. Do just one little thing like shopping list, hoovering, l
listen radio is another advice i was given .
Hope your day is better than other days. Xxx
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Thanks for your kind words. X
Hi @DEVI how did you and your husband meet? Do you have any kids or pets? (if too personal please ignore this). Hoping you have as pleasant an evening as possible in his horrible life…