Lost my mum a week ago. I’ve cared for her the last three/4 years. It took over my life. I reduced my working hours. My whole days. But I wanted to do it… she sadly was diagnosed with cancer on top of everything else at new year. I can’t describe the feeling that I feel relieved she’s not in pain and on the oxygen anymore, but devastated she’s gone . Devastated for my dad they were married 55 years. But I’m so lost. I don’t know what to do…. The routine stopped just like that…. My chest aches…. It all feels surreal.
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Hello Jo85.
My condolences on passing of your beloved mum. Caring is exhausting, but as you say, you did it for the love of your mam and dad. You will be lost now. Feeling like your life has changed.
55 years marriage for your parents is a long time. Mam and dad were also married 55 years but knew each other nearly 59 years. Your dad must feel lost and heartbroken too.
My dad passed away 9 years ago and it left me and mam. Mam passed away 6 weeks ago. She was 82 years old. I am 60 and lived with mam all my life. She was my world. I loved her so much. I always said to her because we never saw anyone: Don’t worry mam. I have got you and you have got me.
For the last three years mam was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. She was doing as well as could be expected. I loved caring for her. From getting up to going to bed, I was devoted to looking after her. Mam was so grateful and loving. We always said how much we loved each other.
On a morning when I got her dressed after I washed her, I sat her on the arm of the settee. After putting her jumper and body warmer on, she used to lean her head on my shoulder and say: I love you Stephen and I always replied: I love you mam. She had a beautiful smile and despite of all her health issues, she never complained.
She came home after nearly 3 weeks in hospital under palliative care and passed away 9 days later. I am glad she was at home. That is where she wanted to be. I sat at her side all of the time and was running my fingers through her hair and stroking her forehead when she passed away.
I love her so much. I miss her so much. I miss our routine. I miss looking after her and hearing her call my name. Life isn’t the same now.
I send you all my love and support. God bless and kindest regards. Stephen 
