Loss of Mum

I don’t know we here to start with this and I’m not even sure what help I’m asking for. I lost my my mum a month ago following a very short illness after being diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour at the end of July. She had previously been diagnosed with Altzheimers but this was manageable and in the early stages. She deteriorated rapidly in May of this year and it was out down to her Altzheimers and lockdown and it was only by chance that she was taken to hospital for a suspected stroke that the tumour was found in July explaining rapid deterioration. Everything went downhill rapidly from that point and she died at the end of August. I know it is early days but I am really struggling with the suddenness of it all and the added COVID restrictions have made it all so much worse. She was fit and healthy then it just dropped off a Cliff. I can’t get my head round it and still can’t believe she has gone x

Hi Loz,
I am very sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my father to cancer two weeks ago. As you say, early days…

You say you had only a few short weeks from the diagnosis to losing her. My father was diagnosed almost a year and a half ago, and the possibility of it being terminal was mentioned quite early on. So I guess I had a chance to come to terms with the concept of his death long before it happened. Not having that must be incredibly difficult.
Be kind to yourself. Do you have family and friends you can talk to? Sometimes, I can’t face talking to anyone, and I don’t want to burden my family, but sometimes I find it helps a little to talk to other people who knew my father.

I have only just joined this group and your post was one of the first I have read and your situation is so similar to mine? My Mum was 71 fit and healthy until 10th July when she got a bad headache and became confused in her speach (literally over night.) she was taken to hospital with a suspected Stroke but it was diagnosed as Encephalitis- an infection it the brain. She was sedated and spent a few weeks in ICU (which was horric as we couldn’t visit) then following all of that she had seizures and the damage was too great to her brain - we had to make THE most difficult decision to take her for pallative care and she died to in August this year. Even though I am writing this now I don’t believe it, she was never “MUM” again following her admission that day to hospital. It was all so sudden and we are (myself. brother and sister) left heartbroken. We also lost our Dad 17 years ago- If I can be of support to you, I would welcome the conversation too if it helps? x

Hi Galar,

Many thanks for taking the time to reply and so sorry for your loss. It’s a rock and a hard place really isn’t it as the longer you have the harder it can be. I guess the truth is it’s just never easy is it.

Yes I’ve got fab friends, the trouble is some days like you say I just don’t want to talk about it and also don’t want to bring people down especially at the moment when things are so hard for everyone generally.

Mums friends touch base often as they are missing her like crazy too and it’s nice to share that.

The miss is just so big xxxx

Hi Kerry,

Thank you so much for your reply and sending you the hugest of hugs. That sounds so traumatic for you all, I can’t imagine. We were very lucky in that respect.
Always happy to chat, it’s good to talk to someone else who totally gets it isn’t it? Xx