Loss of mum

I recently lost my mum April 2022 on the 2nd, I’m only 20 and she was 46 at the time. She was diagnosed with cancer after a very long time of being Ill the year before, she was receiving chemotherapy which ended up not working so went onto immunotherapy which also didn’t work and made her worse. I went to work on the 30th of march and received a call off her having an Asthma attack so I ran home. I made the call to call the nurse and gave the okay for her to go into hospital. She received radiotherapy on the Friday and died on the Saturday. We received the call she wasn’t going to make it on the way to a theory exam. Me and my brother were there holding her hand when she passed. I can’t get the picture of her in that hospital bed completely unresponsive and just lying there breathing and fighting out of my mind, people say at least I got to say goodbye but it didn’t feel like a goodbye because she couldn’t talk back to us, we had gloves masks and aprons on so it wasn’t even a skin on skin goodbye. I just miss her so much and the only memories I have is of her poorly.
Christmas was her favourite time of year and with me still living in her house with all her things it’s been harder than I could’ve ever imagined, the thought that it’s nearing April and it would’ve been a year without her takes my breath away. She was my whole life and so much more

2 Likes

Dear @Abbie780

I can see that you’re new to the community. I am so sorry for the loss of your mum that brings you here. I hope you find the community to be of support and comfort to you.

It is understandable that you are feeling the way you are, all of which is normal and part of the grieving process. Grief is a journey to be taken one day at a time, it is not a race and there will be good days and bad days as it is a rollercoaster ride of emotions. Everyone’s bereavement journey is different.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support who has been in a similar situation as yourself or you could type in the search bar Loss of Mum and connect with members here. I would like to share a few resources with you that may help and support you in the meantime.

A blog by Sue Ryder on Losing a parent - Coping with the death of a parent | Sue Ryder ?

It might be helpful to book an appointment with your doctor and let them know how you are feeling and to see what support they can offer you and to see if there are any local bereavement groups in your area that you could join if you wanted to.

Thank you for bravely reaching out, it is not always easy to do this, you are not alone, we are all here to support you.

Take care.

Pepsi

1 Like

So totally hearbreakkng for you at such a young age, am 41 and am findjng this really hard.
People say things and untill you have expereinced this kind of loss dont understnad what they have said and the impact it has on you.
Please take comfort you where with her at the end even with glosves, mask etc i look back at covid restrictions and would not have been allowed in with my mum so am thankful i was able to be woth her when she passed away unlike some people who had to see them on video link or a phone held up to the persons ear.
Christmas was also one of my mums favourite times, and i feel christmas will never be the same again without her but i also know she wouldnt wamt me sad so i tried to make the best of it even with some tears throughout the day and my thoughts where mainly about her or what we did last year.

1 Like

Nobody can ever explain the loss of a mother I’m sorry you are also grieving this same loss as me! I really hope you find happiness soon and I wish you all the best and all the love and support you need! Thank you for your kind works x