Loss of Mum

I lost my mum 14 days ago, we held her funeral yesterday
she was 65 and died very suddenly of Ischemic heart infarction ( basically a massive heart attack) mum had not been ill and was enjoying a week at the seaside with my Aunt , i have a lead heart, i woke up this morning feeling so flat that i didnt want to speak, let alone carry on a normal day

Hi Donna,

Welcome to the Sue Ryder Online Community. I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve lost your mum - it sounds as though it was a huge shock. It is understandable that you don’t feel like carrying on as normal - in these early days, it’s important to take time to grieve, and to be kind to yourself.

I’m glad that you’ve found this site, and I hope it can help you feel less alone in what you’re going through. While you wait for more replies to this post, you might also wish to read and reply to some conversations between others who’ve lost their mum. For example:

Louise74 started this conversation: Struggling over loss of mum

Soph128 started this conversation: My beautiful mum

If there’s anything I can help with, or you have any questions about using this site, just let me know.

Community Manager

Hi Donna

I’m sorry to hear about you losing your mum that must have been a terrible shock for you with it being so sudden. I lost my mum in March this year, she was 65, although it was not completely expected she had been ill for sometime with a lung disease so we were aware she was poorly.
I remember feeling very flat like yourself and abit numb with shock at first. Although its very hard I did find that keeping busy, still going out as much as possible and mixing with people helped. In fact it still helps me now, I struggle more when I’m alone as I sometimes feel overwhelmed with the grief of missing her.
I have found this forum a great comfort as it makes you feel less alone and I hope that is of some help to you too.

Take care


Hi Louise
Thank you for your reply
I went to see mum in the chapel of rest to try and make it seem more real
This did help but I can’t get to grips with the not being able to call her or hear her voice
We’re a small but very close family , mum was the matriarch really
It’s so hard isn’t it
I’m sorry for your loss too xx

Hi Donna

I’m glad to hear you have a close family it all helps you get through having some support. My brother and my mums husband have been amazing for me since I lost my mum. My husband has been good too. Keep busy with the people who care for you. We have tried to meet up and do a lot more together than we used to.
I do have some better days if that helps you at all, don’t get me wrong some days I wonder how I will get through without ever being able to see or chat to her again we were so close too like you and your mum but somehow I think part of the grieving process you manage eventually to find a way.
Keep coming on here for support too, I do and it really helps.
Message me anytime if you want a chat.

Take care


Hi Donna

I’m so very sorry for your loss, for it to happen so suddenly is such a shock. I lost my Mum about 5 weeks ago, she too had a lung disease like Louise’s Mum and we knew time was limited but due to a serious of errors with her treatment we lost her suddenly and months earlier than we should have. I still am numb and angry about how I feel she was let down by a catalogue of errors.

It’s a pain like no other and for me it’s getting worse the longer I can’t see her/talk to her. She was my best friend and I miss her dreadfully:( Spending time with people helps, you need support and time alone can be the hardest. Sharing your story/thoughts and reading messages of support on here from people in a similar situation helps too.

Every time I think how I don’t want to wake up here anymore and I just want to be back with my Mum. I remember how she gave me life and would want me to carry on and live it, as hard as it is. So for her, I try to.

Hope you’re managing to get through your day/week somehow.

Sending hugs



Hi Donna… my condolences to you, I lost my partner last august with the same as your mum, and age, my partner was swimming and collapsed going back to the changing rooms… you are in very early days, dont try to deal with all your greif at once, let others help you, I struggled in my own and suffered for it, a year on although its is still very hard, I have to push myself every morning to get up and go to work… do think about counselling it did help me… what you are feeling is normal, be kind to yourself if you feel like crying do, I had and still have days when thats all I do, but feel better for it… take care Mo x

So sorry for your loss my dad died in bed of the same at 60 thinking of you x

Hello. I know how you feel. I lost my mom nearly 4 weeks ago. She was so beautiful. Didn’t look ill. And only had symptoms a few weeks before being diagnosed with Osopheagul cancer which had spread to her liver and lymph nodes. Then in the matter of days she was gone. She was 71, didn’t look it. Myself, Dad and Sister and all the family and her friends are in utter shock. The sadness is overwhelming. I spoke to her 3 times a day, and saw her at least twice a week, so she has left a huge void in my life. I just hope we can all find peace one day. We will never get over it. But hopefully learn to live with it.
I hope you feel better soon. Let’s hope all of us on this forum can find some comfort in the day’s to come xxx

Hi Shaz

So sorry to hear about your mum. I know when I lost my mum in March the support from my brother and mums husband helped. As horrible as it is you do have to support each other. You sounded like your relationship with your mum was very close, much like me and my mum. I have found this forum very helpful and makes me feel less alone. If other people can get through it then so can we. I think hopefully we will learn to live with it in time.

Take care