I lost my 21 year old daughter last may due to an ongoing battle with anorexia nervosa, depression and anxiety for 4 years. She was such a bright, clever and beautiful young lady before this condition took control of her life. It had such a strong hold of her, she couldnt fight it, it was just too powerful. There is still an ongoing inquest into her death due to my concerns that i believe the NHS were neglegent and didnt give her the care she needed. She should of been sectioned a long time ago but they refused. Finally last week after my persistent concerns they agree they should of intervened and put a plan in place to section her for her own safety. Im really struggling and find every day so hard, to get up and just get through the day. I feel so broken and lost, guilt i could of done more to help her. Its absolute torture.
Hi Proudmummy6401
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’m so sorry to hear about your daughter. I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling - it’s normal to feel guilty, lost and to struggle after someone we love has died. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Rhi
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Welcome to the community although none of us would have chosen the reasons for being here!
I’m sure you did everything you could and more.
My thoughts are with you x
Sorry for your loss, we lost our 21 year old son 8 weeks ago, it does help chatting on these boards
Hi, I’m so sorry for your loss. I am experiencing a similar grief as my daughter died from solvent misuse at only 18 years of age but this was intrinsically linked to her mental health struggles. My daughter was sectioned but this was lifted as they felt the primary issue was substance misuse, I wish I had challenged this more at the time but I trusted in them as professionals. The NHS are also investigating their practice, and I don’t know what this means in reality. I feel that they should take responsibility for their decisions as they massively failed her, she never had access to the right support and if she was still under section then she would probably still be with us. The guilt is awful sometimes but deep down I know that I did everything I could to help her, and I’m sure you did the same. It’s strange when you’re constantly battling the services for it all to just stop. It shouldn’t be a challenge, they should give the support that is needed and help people in our situation. I hope that even if the investigation shows they have been negligent that this does help someone in the future. I hope that this helps to share and I wish you all the best, sending love,