Loss of my beloved mam

Hi, I’m not sure what it is I’m looking for really. She left me 5 months ago now. Suddenly and unexpectedly. I have support in real life but I find it difficult to talk to the ones also feeling as much grief as me and to others like my husband who aren’t feeling it the same as me.
I’m crippled, absolutely heartbroken. I have small children I have to carry on for but I just feel like I’m drowning. I’m grumpy and angry and I can’t figure a way to stop it. I’m lashing our at my husband and he’s getting sick. I can see it in him.
She was also my best friend. The best friend anyone could ever wish for.
I can’t make sense of anything. When will this pain ease?

I’m so sorry to hear the loss of your mum. I just lost my mum 7 weeks ago. I have never known such a sadness like it. And the physical ache and pain in my chest. My husband keeps getting me to go out for a run or try and do some exercise and it does help get rid of the tension and anger. I don’t think you will feel better any time soon I’m afraid to say. So it’s trying to find ways to live with it I guess. The thing is I don’t want to feel happy. I want to feel sad I want to grieve and remember her. Put I do put on my happy face when needed. Just keep doing it for the children. And use moments when alone to grieve. It’s fine for the children to see you cry though aswell. My children found me slumped on the floor literally sobbing the other day. And the night of mums funeral they laid with me whilst I sobbed myself to sleep bless them it’s not easy. I have no idea how I’m going to carry on without her. But I will. Just in a different way I guess

Hi Gemma,

Sorry to hear about your mum. The same thing happened to myself 6 months ago, one day she was fine and we spent the whole day together, the day after I got a call to say she was in hospital and she never came home.

I hear you on talking to other people, sometimes your unsure what to say or if they actually feel the same way as you and they do say we take it out in those closet to us which I guess is why you take it out on your husband.

I don’t have any advise really on when it eases because my heart still hurts every single day…just that i do understand how you feel and if you ever want to chat just drop me a message xxxxx

Hi Gemma

Same as all the others on here really. Lost my mum suddenly and unexpectedly to a stroke in June and I am simply not moving on. I am permanently sad, cry all the time and miss her so much. Most of all I cannot believe she is gone. A light has gone from my world and I view everything in a shade of grey.
I cant tell my mum how my day has been, she can’t see how my lovely 12 year old daughter is growing and we cant watch gogglebox and first dates hotel together.
I feel your pain and I cant help. All I can do is say that I’m here and i understand xx