Loss of my dad

Hi
I lost my father nearly a year ago and I’m really struggling to cope with the loss.
I’m having outbursts of crying that I cannot stop, and having to have days off work due to this and panic attacks.
I’m seeing a councillor once a week but I feel so sad all the time. I’m trying to carry on, it’s just tiring.
Can anyone give me any advice as I don’t know what to do anymore. X

Dear Debbie,
It sounds like you are already doing quite a few things such as having counseling and posting your message on this site.It must be difficult for you to have to take time off work. I hope that your colleagues and your employer are supportive. I was off work for nearly 3 months at the end of last year. My mother died in September and my dad died two years ago. It all became a bit too much and I felt physically and mentally exhausted. I am now back at work, but am not finding it easy. Tasks that I used to find easy now take losts of effort and things that I enjoyed doing I now find hard. I seem to have lost some of my confidence. I never knew that losing someone you love would have such a deep effect on your life. Do you have anyone you can always talk with, like a best friend, or a sister? I find that writing about how I feel or talking honestly with my sister does help me a lot. Your counselor should be able to give you some strategies on coping with panic attacks. Our son has just had 10 sessions in a support group for young people with anxiety problems and he found that very helpful. My advice to you would be to find out what is most helpful to you, because we are all different, and to allow yourself as much time as you need to grief. I don’t think there is a right or a wrong way, or a time scale. It’s very personal and only those who have gone through it know what it feels like. Take care. Love amd hugs, Jo.