Loss of my husband in an accident

I lost my wonderful husband Terry 5 weeks ago, we were on holiday in the Florida Keys celebrating our wedding anniversary & my forthcoming 60th Birthday.
He went out to get Pizza & was hit by a car, the first I knew of it was when the Police came to our Hotel room to tell me what had happened and they were flying him to Miami, I had to drive 60 odd miles in our hire car to the hospital , where they told me things were very bad he had lost so much blood they didn’t expect him to last the night. That was on the 8th of November and he eventually died on the 28th he started to get better but the shock to his liver with the blood loss was just to much.

We met when I was 20 . Terry was ( still is ) the love of my life and I am really struggling without him. We have a daughter Stacey & she has been an absolute rock she flew to Miami & we were with him when he passed.

We had booked to come to Spain on Boxing Day as we do every year & I came with a friend for the first week & my daughter is now here with me. I figured that I may as well cry in the sun as in the cold of the north of England. I think it was the right thing to do though it’s tough thinking Terry should be here with me.

I feel so empty though and don’t really want to do anything though I do. The worst thing is the mornings it’s just so quiet & I feel so alone without that one person who meant so much to me & I to him . I can’t think of the years ahead without him , I know it’s selfish but I wish I was gone too.

I also feel so guilty as he wanted to go out to dinner & I was tired & suggested he went to get us pizza , if I could turn the clock back , it keeps going through my head over & over.

Sue

Hello Sued, I want to welcome you to our Online Community - in these tragic circumstances. My heart goes out to you, as you are struggling to get through each day without your beloved Terry.
Please don’t blame yourself for what happened to him - you must now concentrate on looking after yourself, with the support of your daughter.
Try and take things slowly - when you return home it’s going to feel strange for you, so share your mixed up feelings with family and friends. I’m thinking of you at this difficult time. With kind regards, Jackie

Thanks Jacky - I know I shouldn’t blame myself but I really can’t help it. I know that if we had gone out to dinner the accident wouldn’t have happened & I can’t get past it. I miss him so very much.

Sue

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