Loss of my husband

My husband Steve passed away on 12 Jan 23. He had pancreatic cancer but from what doc said he had beat that it was hospitalised pneumonia he passed with amongst other things that was on his certificate. We got told on Sunday 8 th Jan that there was nothing else they could do for him they gave me n my family 5 days to say our good byes which I’m very great full for. I pitched up a bed in the hospital and didn’t leave his side. The hardest part of it all is he new what was going on he was in such good spirits right up till the thurs half an hour be4 they put him to sleep he had all his family round him which was good he even called in his close friends who he wanted to say good bye to. But me I just can’t get my head round us laughing n joking right up to the very end. He was my life and now I’m lost an can’t get my head round it at all I no it’s early stages for me but I’m lost can’t sleep I’m just a walking breathing bubble

7 Likes

Bless you Darby33 . Sounds like you had a similar experience to mine. Its very hard trying to get our heads round what happened. Having to sort out all the practical issues funeral etc. Its early days for you so just take it day by day I’m not going to say it gets better because it doesn’t we just have to learn a different way of life not the one we wanted or planned for. Im sorry for your loss of your dear steve . Everyone on this forum have lost a loved one so we know what you are going through and help each other to get through the days ahead. It must have been so hard for you watching your husband slip away if like me you feel so helpless and guilty for living. All this is normal i was told its part of the grieving process. Sending you lots of hugs .x

3 Likes

Thank you it helps a little bit knowing I’m not on my own and I can talk to this group. It still doesn’t take the pain away tho i so wish it did it hurts as you know x

1 Like

@Darby33 - you are going through a nightmare. Your friends here, who completely understand, are with you.

@Darby33
Sending you my love and hugs.
You have suffered such a terrible loss and it will be still shock and disbelief I am sure.

I hope you will feel supported by this great community. There are many here who will understand what you are going through.
Take care of yourself and do whatever feels right to you.
Karen xxx

We were with my wife before she passed away and she was told by the doctor she would die that evening,all the family was there with her ,I can’t believe how calm she was before the end as she said her goodbyes then said I’m going to sleep now then passed away peacefully,it’s almost like she was spoken to and reassured about the after life that gave her peace before passing .I wear her eternity ring and feel that in someways she is with me ,I have had some strange things happen as I said if you can see me show me a sign,I have had the feeling of being shaken awake and once heard a voice say are you getting up soon ? I even replied then wondered what the hell was that ?,also I feel I’m being guided to places where I seem to get a bargain when out shopping ,is this the sign or am I being daft ?,I like to think is her telling me she is with me .Hope you get some signs too.take care .

2 Likes

@Tomcat
I was talking to my daughter today about people who have had near death experiences and I have only ever heard them say how lovely it was. When I was working in hospitals I spoke to someone who had one and he certainly wasn’t afraid of dying after that so I can see why your wife was calm and at peace.

I do believe our loved ones can watch over us and guide us so maybe she is.
Love
Karen xxx

1 Like