Loss of my Husband

@Camille58 night times are the worst. Waking up alone. :pensive:

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Also coming home to an empty house is awful

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Itā€™s not just a British thing, it is very much American too,
Karen

I have posted this before, bears repeating:
Grief has 2 faces:

One where you pretend everything is ok
And one where your heart silently screams out in pain.

I havenā€™t mastered the pretending I am ok part yet

Karen

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Heb
Yes I lost my husband in December 2030 and although he had quite a few issues the end was sudden and after more than two years I feel just like you. I am managing some sort of life. But not what I would wish for. We were together 57 years and married 54 and life will not be good again. Luckily I have a lovely caring family and I do try to put on a brave face, but we all know how exhausting that is. Virtual Hugs to you.

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@Heb
I think any feelings are understandable by the people on here who are living with grief. Thatā€™s what we do - live with it. I donā€™t think we ever ā€˜get overā€™ our loss and who we are changes. We are all different and for me it is a bit easier than it used to be. Tears are often not far away or spilling over but I am making a life - not the one I want but still making a life.

There is no pattern and everything is normal as far as I can see. Each of us are individuals and take different approaches to how we deal with many aspects of our lives. I do chose to use the desire to make Richard proud of me as motivation to get jobs done to the best of my ability and it works for me and will do for others but not everyone. I canā€™t imagine his reaction if I let the things he cared about go to ruin, even though it is a steep learning curve in many ways.

Iā€™m sure youā€™ll find support on here.
Love
Karen xxx

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@KarenF thanks. Some days are a struggle Iā€™m not going to lie. But I just keep trying :woman_shrugging: x

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dont listen when people tell you to move on. The grief is awful.i lost my husband in july . its awful
never get over it. Unless this has happend to them
they will
never understandšŸ˜¢

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@nett, I understand your grief because I have lost my wife and I also agree no one understands unless theyā€™ve been there. Take comfort in that there are so many people here for you and we all do understand what you are going through. I havenā€™t really moved on for 3 years now. Take care and know you are not alone, we are always here x John

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i had to move as well. 40 years lived down south now living in the midlands. Family all
here but they dont understand all
have their wives/husbands
feel so sad and lonely miss a cuddlešŸ„²

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Yes thatā€™s how I feel too. It happened all so quickly - only an hour after his symptoms started he was going to hospital in the ambulance and we were never able to communicate again as he was on life support in ICU for over a month before he finally died of septic shock

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Iā€™m wondering whether to.move too. Did you move to be nearer your family? I live in a very isolated area

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Iā€™m so jealous when I see older couples hand in hand and then feel guilty! I feel.like going up.to them.and telling them.to treasure every moment with their partners

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I find it difficult to get up in the morning but then I donā€™t want to go to bed on my own either

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Blockquote

Oh I so get that! The things I took for granted :pleading_face::cry:

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i live nearer my family and still
have friends from years ago. I moved into retirement housing so if you need company there are people around
its also near the retail park and bustop
so i have lots of choice where to
go. Be nicer when the warmer weather comes as i can take myself off to the peaks :heart: not the same alone though and every place brings a
memoryšŸ„²

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same here i look at them and tell them they are so lucky

Hi Sue11,I lost my husband 4 months ago, really struggling cannot sleep know how you are feeling,as he was my soulmate and best friend,
Sometimes I feel Iā€™m in a bad nightmare,he had a cardiac arrest whilst driving,I managed to stop the car ,
He was resuicated in the road and blue lighted to hospital with me following blue lighted in a police car,
He passed away 2 hours later,

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So sorry about what happened to your husband my heart goes out to you i lost my husband to cancer we thought he was going to be ok the chemo seemed to be working but then he had a infection and they had to stop it they got rid of the infection and started back on chemo but after a few weeks he got a infection again so had to stop it again by this time the cancer had spread and it was eating his liver away and we was told he had only about 6 months left it was one of the hardest things i have ever had to cope with knowing that sooner or later i would loss my soulmate

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I know what you mean. People say they are proud of me but they dont know how i really feel. I try to fill up my life. I belong to u3a and the lical.national trust. But i still come home to emptiness and loneliness. I have a friend staying with me at the moment as he is between houses which is great, but i wlll be back to that usual empty feeling when he goes.

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