Two weeks ago my world fell apart when my wonderful husband and soul mate died. He was in hospital after having brain surgery for a tumour and was getting better when he had a catastrophic cardiac arrest. He had been in hospital for 30 days (60 miles from home) and I visited him every day….he was the love of my life and even though was seriously ill he only ever worried about me! A light has been extinguished for me but I promised him I would be OK and I will do everything I can to honour that in his memory….I love you sweetheart xxxxx
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Hi @JoGill . I was really sad to see your story. We all remember those early weeks when our lives stopped, and are filled with so many emotional thoughts and buckets of tears. Its probably too early to make plans, that will come. All we do is survive getting the practicalities sorted out.
I love that promise you made, keep hold of that with all your strength. I made my wife a promise, that I would care for her dogs with everything I had. Its given me something to hang on to, and a connection to her.
Keep coming back to that promise to guide you through your new life. Although its probably difficult to see at the moment, grief subsides and a new happy life will emerge, sprinkled with happy memories. It takes time (about 18 months in my case).
Hang in there, keep your friends close, giving and getting as many hugs as you can.
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Thankyou tykey. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this but in a way my gorgeous man dodged a bullet as the degradation that was coming his way from a grade 4 glioblastoma was going to be debilitating. He went quickly with little or no suffering, the nurses told me he was chatting and laughing with them an hour before, this gives me huge comfort! He leaves a huge, gaping hole in my life but I will treasure his memory and take him everywhere with me in my heart.
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I know that gaping hole. I am just looking for something to fill it.
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Just remember, every time you do something which moves you forward, he’s sending you a message , “That’s my Girl, I’m proud of you!”
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@tykey, you are absolutely right, that is exactly what he would be saying….thankyou so much for your words of wisdom and encouragement xx
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@JoGill sorry to hear your story. I know how you’re feeling. My husband was in hospital awaiting an angiogram and stents but suffered an unexpected cardiac arrest and didnt survive. It was just after I left at the emd of visiting time. While he was in hospital, he was more worried about me driving to and from hospital and being at home on my own as he wasnt there to protect me.
Outside of work we did everything together and it is so difficult now he is not here.
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@Hels3 that is really tough and I share your pain. It sounds so familiar. We also did everything together and that adjustment is the hardest thing. I had a few weeks to start that adjustment while he was in hospital which I am sure has helped but it is still a massive change that was neither expected nor welcomed. I know life has changed now and that somehow through all of the pain and darkness I will cope. He will always be with me in my heart and my memories.
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I lost my partner on 2nd December 23 to Glioblastoma grade 4 inoperable. He was diagnosed when we returned from a wonderful holiday in August. He started loosing his balance. Went docs sent for MRI then diagnosed this is such an awful disease. I am heartbroken and miss him everyday 
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Oh Debbie I am so sorry about your husband, there is no getting away from it the situation is horrendous and nothing anyone will say or do will change that but I promise it does get a little less painful as you start to adjust. If I can help or be of any comfort to you then please let me know. I read loads of books about life after death and things like that which actually helped me to govern my grief and not let it govern me….but everyone is different and different things work for each of us. At first I panicked…who was going to go on holiday with me, who would be with me in old age, who would come to hospital with me if I ever had to go etc etc etc (sounds very selfish I know), so I joined groups and clubs……and hated every minute of it, exposing my grief, trying to be normal when I felt far from it. So I learned not to plan anything at the moment, live each day as it comes (many people had told me that but I literally did not understand what they meant)….my ‘eureka’ moment! Be kind to yourself and never be ashamed of your grief! Grief is the price we pay for love xx
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