Loss of my mum

Losing a parent
1

I lost my mum 2 months ago. She had Alzheimers for 17 years and was in care for 8 years.

I was really, really close to my mum (she was more of a friend) and yet where I feel like I should be devastated I feel more a sense of relief and calm. I’m happy she is no longer ill and is at peace and no longer has to be cared for (she was an incredible woman and very independent, I felt worse than she ended up in care).

Part of me worries that I’m not grieving (I’ve had the odd moment) or if the sense of peace that she is no longer suffering that illness is normal?

2

I think everything is normal and whatever you feel is how you feel. If someone has suffered for a long time I would think a sense of relief for their pain is normal. As someone who has been on this grief path for a relatively short time, just over two months I think it’s a rollercoaster too…one minute you feel one thing, next another so just be kind to yourself and accept how you feel in that moment.
Sorry for you loss xx

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Thanks so much for the reply. Its appreciated. I think thats really good advice. Hope things get easier, or at least kore level for you soon.x

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I hope things get easier for all of us… it’s horrible. You take care and I hope you have a good week x

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5

It be 2 years for me in August 23 since I lost mum. It’s never really easy to be honest. Everyone is different on here, some have good family’s or have children that visit them so they are not totally alone. It’s very different for me, I have to cope to being alone. I know what you talking about about regards being free from pain now she’s passed. That’s a good way of looking at it, but it doesn’t ease the grieve and the memories you shared with your mum.

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6

Hello I’ve never felt the need to really express myself much but I just lost my mom. She wasn’t just my parent but my best friend. I can’t take the pain I feel. I’ve been crying everyday, something was torn from my soul and I can’t get it back. I wish it was me who went instead. I feel so empty and lost. I’m sorry for the long post.

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7

It’s ok, that what these forums are for. There’s so much to take in from loss. Adapting to being on your own too. Especially if you did a lot of things with your mum ? I can totally identify with that. They say you get only one mum and that’s very true.

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8

Sorry to hear that. Keep going and talking to people. I’m told it not necessarily gets easier but becomes more manageable.

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