Loss of my Mum

7 weeks have gone by since losing my beautiful mum suddenly. Its been full of heart wrenching practical things to do, but i closed the door on her home today and theres nothing left to do. I visited her grave with flowers from the garden and im now utterly overwhelmed with grief and my sense of loss just seems to get greater. Ive cried myself to a standstill this evening, surrounded by her things in my own home. It brings me comfort but i just cant take it in that i cant ever see her again. I miss mum so much. It feels even more like an unbearable end right now. My dad is now many hours away being cared for by my sister and i feel utterly lost, even though i have very supportive friends. Losing mum feels like a physical blow right now…

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I’m so sorry that you are going through this too.
It’s the hardest thing. I too lost my mum seven weeks ago and my family live a few hours away.
Today has been a tough day too Probably the worst.

I’m trying to focus on positive memories to get through these dark moments. Looking at photos and reading our messages.
If you need to chat , please message me

Look after yourself

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Thank you so much…

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Hi there, by coincidence it has been 7 weeks for me also where I lost my mum. Each day I wake up and feel numb to the core and then I find that most of the day I think about her. I know that she would want me to live my life to the full and look after my children with happiness but how did you do that when you feel you have ten tonnes on your shoulders. I have been putting on a brave face for the most part but today have been to the GP to seek professional help. I miss talking to mum all the time. I do have a recording of her voice so I get some comfort in that but it’s minimal. Tomorrow I am going to a Spiritual Church where I believe they do readings so I’m hoping mum will come through. It’s just taking one step at a time for me and sometimes hour by hour.

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Im so sorry to hear this, i think 7 weeks is so close, it is hour by hour. Ive just been making up my bed with mums pillows and duvet just so i can feel she is near, it comforts and makes me weep at the same time. Step by step is right. Someone said we will not feel so raw forever.

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7 weeks is still very fresh. I can only say that looking back. For me th the first 2 months were absolutely dreadful. 3 and a half months now and I’ve stopped counting it in weeks. It’s still awful, but I do feel differently, and I would say I’m coping better. I still feel a long way from okay though. I accept it will be a long haul and I take things a day at a time. Just try and get through it.

Hello Lilly,
Im so sorry to hear that you have lost your mum, i lost my mum last year and all i can offer is a listening ear and big hugs. Its hard and you are in such early stsges of loss just take an hour at a time, a day at a time , be very kind and gentle to yourself and lean on anyone you can. A year on i won’t ie i have good days but some awful days too but it will get just a little less raw and painful as time goes on. Here if you ever need an ear, sending my best wishes, Nikki x

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Thank you…how kind you are. I am ok then tsunami of panic, shock and unreality sets in i still cannot grasp the finality. I just cant face it…thank you again. I know we all mostly survive this…i will also

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Im so so sorry that your going through this i understand because i lost my mum 18 months ago and i had to get rid of her clothes and still today im still doing it and still hurts :broken_heart: :sleepy: i feel so lost knowing that i will never see my mum again i feel that this is a nightmare that im in and can’t get out of this i feel so lost and alone without her . So i do understand what your going through and im here if you want to talk

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Good luck with the spiritual church, it’s something I keep thinking about too or a psychic medium as I’m desperate to hear from my mum, I’d love to know how you get on xx

Hi Nikki

I went to the spiritualist church today and whilst they were lovely there, the medium did a lot of guess work and mostly was innaccurate. That said it got me out of the house so that was nice. I wont give up because i know there are great mediums out there.

I have been to the spiritulist church twice now and the first time the medium did a lot of guess work to and I wasn’t impressed.

Now the second time did make me wonder, one of the things he told someone was that she gets seen eating rusks, you know them biscuits made for babies? The girl he told was livid and it turned out to be true. I mean I found that quite random and specific!

I put myself on a recommended mediums waiting list that is currently approximately 3 months wait. She also put me on the short cancellation list.

The day after being added onto the lists, she messaged to say a cancellation had came up for the following week. Of course I practically snatched it up.

I told her I was nervous and didn’t know what to expect and for some reason she decided to ring me, she told me she felt compelled to put me to the top of her cancellation list.

She said she will do her best to contact my mum, hang on a minute I never even mentioned I wanted to contact my mum, so I asked how she knew and she said I told her, anyway we checked through our conversation and I hadn’t and she said that’s weird.

She also told me a few things that she shouldn’t have known and it shocked me, and this wasn’t even my proper reading.

She didn’t need to ring me but was talking to me for 40 mins and didn’t ask for any payments which made me believe that she actually wants to help me.

My appointment is tomorrow afternoon, I’ll report back here about how it goes.

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Hi Jess,

That sounds comforting. If the medium you see is good are you able to relay their contact details? I am not sure of the protocol on this or if I am allowed to ask. I would like to go on a wait list for someone reputable. Fingers crossed for tomorrow,:slightly_smiling_face:

Tell you what, I’ll see what I think after my appointment and I will ask her if I can share her details but I don’t see why she would have a problem with it.

It won’t be a face to face it’ll be over video call on whats app or you can do it via ordinary phone call.

She did used to do face to face but when lockdown came she had to do it by call or video call and decided she liked it better that way cause she could help people who live futher away.

I’m excited and nervous at the same time.

You know it’s nice to talk about going to mediums with someone who understands, if you tell people who haven’t gone through this they never understand and think you’re crazy.

When you go through so much heartbreak you end up searching for anything that will provide comfort x

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I totally agree with you on that. The heartbreak is like nothing else I have ever encountered in my life. I miss mum every moment of the day and if a medium can help then I am there! I can’t wait to hear how you get on. :grinning:

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I just think if she can prove my Mum is still around some how it’ll provide me with the comfort I’m desperately seeking cause I’ve found it hard to believe in for a long time now.

I don’t feel like shes truly gone though, it’s crazy how strong that belief is. Wondering if it’s just a symptom of grief though hmm x

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Do you ever sense your mum around you? I lost my mum last April, I was totally devastated, there is no loss like it, just opens up so many questions, well in my case it does, makes me think of my own mortality more too. I definitely get signs from my mum, not all the time but i just get the smell sometimes from her home but this happens when im at my home or out somewhere, anywhere that she knows i need to know shes there, i was driving last week and it felt like she was in the passenger seat next to me, i dont think it can be just grief as my daughters sense my mum too especially my elder daughter. We all wear mums jewellery and both my daughters were wearing mums rings and they flew off their fingers when showering, think it’s mums way of saying they shouldn’t have been wearing those in showers, my mum hated showers, only liked baths. I would like to see a medium to see if mum comes through at some point xx

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Sorry that you are on this journey too. There is no pain like it.
I too can feel my mum’s presence. I can’t remember if I was on the day she died or the day after, but I got in the car to move it off the drive and I felt a blow of wind on my neck. I’ve manoeuvred every possible way and I can’t get the same gush of wind. Not even a flicker.
Mum was also kept at the hospital for 15 days. The day she went to the chapel, I went to see her. I went for a walk that night and a white feather fell right in front of my face. Floated down.

I think Jess that we need to be easy on ourselves and accept that sometimes getting through one hour is an achievement! Mum was my best friend as well as mum and we shared so much together over the years. Only people in similar situations can truly understand what we are going through and the utter devastation of losing someone so close. I feel that I won’t ever enjoy life as I did before, everything is just dull right now. I keep telling myself that mum would want to be happy and I know I should try to be. It would be great if this platform had a way we could all chat together on Teams or something as I feel that would help me. Not sure if that is available. .

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I did at the beginning and it was so strong! This is going to be long cause I will share with you a lot of things I’d like to think were signs…

Around 2 or 3 days after she passed I had a dream, I’ll tell you what happened below…

I woke up, got out of bed, walked downstairs to find a man I’ve never met in my life stood in my kitchen, I immediately felt comforted by his presense and he said to me “she’s waiting for you outside” he disappeared and I opened my door and my mum was stood there.
She looked sad, maybe cause I was sad about her leaving me, we couldn’t seem to communicate with each other and i felt so frustrated.

When I woke up I put the lack of communication down to it all being new to her.

One night, I got up off my sofa and got a sudden smell of cigarette smoke that made me stop in my tracks (she was a smoker) and I dismissed it as my imagination. A while later after that my kitchen door opened and made me jump, it was like someone had walked through and I felt like I wasn’t alone in a good way and it soothed me for the rest of the night.

Me and my auntie got the taxi home from my grans one day and during the journey he decided to put the radio on and after the first song that played my mums funeral song came on and played all the song just before my auntie had to get out. It was panic at the disco ‘high hopes’
That night I opened my free amazon music account that only allows you to shuffle songs. I typed in panic at the disco and said aloud “mum if that was you play high hopes first” almost floored me when it actually did play that song first.
To be sure I typed in Madonna and shuffled it and the song ‘hung up’ played first, me and her had a dance routine to that very song, how very odd eh?

I started noticing small white feathers in my path, my mum was only small and I took it as her sending them me to remind me that she’s still around.

After all that I started doubting myself and thought it’s due to grieving and my mind is making it all up. I put it all to coincidence. But what are the odds to all them coincidences :woman_shrugging:

The medium told me that I’ve been told to keep the feathers I’ve been finding and I couldn’t help eye rolling at that cause feathers exist! Then she said they’re only little ones though, little white ones :scream:

I’m not the only one who has been noticing things either, my auntie told me she slept over at my grans before and could have sworn she heard my mum opening the door and her footsteps and keys jingling. When my mum visited my Gran she used to walk in holding her bunch of keys in her hands and they’d jingle as she walked in.

Her other half lives next door to her and he told me he keeps hearing her music and singing, which she also did when she was here, I asked if it felt real and he said YES.

I haven’t had any signs for a few days now and I’m trying to tell myself that she is still near and it wasn’t all in my head but I am a full on skeptic so it’s hard for me to believe hence booking in with a medium.