Loss of my mum

I lost my beautiful mum 4 years ago to dementia. I actually lost her twice once when dementia took her and the second time when death took her
They say time heals it doesn’t to me it gets harder my mum lived me and I gave up my job and me my husband and kids cared for her until the day she died. It was very hard to watch her fade away and I think I coped with it but have never dealt with it Life changed for me the day she died

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Hello @Babs4,

I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling, I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. I just want to reassure you that you are not alone.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing,
Seaneen

Hi babs4, I was really sorry to read what you went through with your mum and thank you for opening up and sharing with us here, I’m sure a lot of people with empathise. I’ve found posting here and reading about other people’s experiences and thoughts comforting, everyone here understands and helps you feel less alone no matter how you’re experiencing grief.

Although my mum didn’t have dementia, I can relate as her illness affected her personality, memory and ability to communicate so I know exactly what you mean about feeling you lost her twice. It felt to me like the loss of her personality and clear communication with her should have lessened the blow of her death, but it didn’t and in a way have been mourning both her physical presence and the relationship we weren’t able to have for the past few years.

My dad was my mum’s full time carer and like you he gave up his job to take it on, so I just wanted to say as someone who has seen it first-hand what a wonderful and worthwhile thing you did for your mum, and I’m sure it was very difficult for you at times but you did an amazing job and should feel very proud of yourself x

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Hi
So sorry for your loss. I lost my mum 4 weeks ago and its hard, cant even think what i will feel like in 4 years time, my life has already change forever because she’s not in it. You must have been very brave over these recent years i bet your mum would be so so proud of you. My mum had cancer and so i also watched her fade away but it was quick, too quick, 3 months from terminal diagnosis. Watching her this way was hard but we should be proud that we were by there side through out what ever time they had, loving and caring for our amazing mum’s. Keep messaging on here, ive had messages from some lovely people all in different stages and time frames of grief but grieving never the less
Sending you a big hug❤️