Loss of my partner

I recently lost my partner of 28 years to cancer. It was a year ago this month that she had her first consultation with her consultant to be told that she had throat cancer. At the beginning of the year she started her treatment involving chemo and radiotherapy . The staff were fantastic but she had an awful time and struggled to get through the six week, every day course. She couldn’t eat much during the treatment but after it was over she picked up a bit and started to eat again. I really thought she was on the road to recovery but then her jaw locked as a side effect of the radiation and from then on the only food she could eat was a high calorie soup on prescription. she lost a huge amount of weight . Her neck was burnt where the radiation had caught it, she got dreadful mouth abscesses and was on a great deal of morphine for the pain. She had lots of visits to different departments at the hospital, ENT, Maxiofacial etc plus surgery visits to the GP. She just wasted away.Broke my heart to see her like that. Eventually she had her final consultation and was told that they hadn’t managed to kill all the cancer in her throat and it had spread elsewhere . She’d never had a healthy life. She had osteoporosis and had both hips replaced when she was in her early fifties and from then on was in a wheelchair. She told me she’d had enough and was at peace with everything and passed away on Monday 18 Oct. aged 65. I’m surrounded by friends and family but I’m so lonely without her.

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Hello Peterj

I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling . I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your partner, and that she was so unwell, it must have been very hard on you both. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through. It can feel very lonely after the loss of a loved one, even with friends and family, I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support.

Thank you again for sharing – please do keep on reaching out.

Take care, Rhi

Peter so sorry I lost my husband 1year ago and it’s so hard to lung cancer don’t cry as much got 2 fantastic children and a granddaughter but grieving takes time annie

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