Loss of my soulmate

My darling soulmate, Andrew, passed away on 13th September 2020. He had been diagnosed with alcohol liver disease in July 2020. He had symptoms for a number of years and his fear of doctors made him ignore them. He made steady progress In hospital and came home. I looked after him, gave him his meals and showered him. I would do anything for him. He was readmitted in August with high sugar levels and made fabulous progress to return home. He knew that his lifestyle would have to change and he was ready to embrace this and was looking forward to our lives together. He then went downhill fast with an infection and he was put into an induced coma. I went to see him everyday and was told that his liver, kidneys had failed and that there was nothing more they could do. I am completed devastated. He was our world.
We had known each other for ten years and was only together for 18 months. He was in the process of divorce from his estranged wife (who decided she had to be there when he passed. He would have hated that). The funeral has been planned and although I have been kept in the loop by his family, no pictures of us will be at the funeral as it may upset the estranged wife. I feel that I’m letting him down as he couldn’t bare to be in the same room as her. I miss him so much.
We talked about our day, our future plans, silly things really. We supported each other through all the dramas of our lives and I’m so sad and lost without my best friend. We went through so much to be together. My son misses him and knew that Andrew was so poorly. I know I have to continue for my son but it’s so difficult without Andrew being here and the support he gave us. My heart is broken and I feel so alone :cry::cry:

Hi. Sharney. Welcome. Yes, bits! We are shattered lost and alone at first, There is no feeling like it and we all know how you feel. The fact that there always seemed some hope is making the situation worse. We hang on to hope, only to find it lost when our loved ones pass. It’s far too early for you to begin to look ahead. Just take it one day at a time. You may feel a bit better one day and down the next. That 's how grief goes.
Please come back and talk to us when you feel the need. We are all in the same rotten boat, somewhere we never thought we would ever be. But sharing and listening to others can give some degree of comfort.
Take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. Blessings. John.

Hi so sorry for your loss
I am in your position too my partner passed away in june from the same thing he was 42 im 36 and we have a nearly 12 year old daughter
My partner was admitted in hosp in feb he was in q bad mess they gave him 50/50 chance of coming home he did after 7 wks because he was stable but weak could hardly walk he was home 3 months but deterioated and ended up back in on fathers day saturday i got called over to say they could do no more i stayed with him
I never knew the full extent of his drinking and he admitted the problem before he went in hosp and started to get help but was too late the damage was done and it hurts so much and im angry but despite everything he loved me i loved him its so hard please message me if you want to talk x