Hello folks thank you for letting me join.
My wife passed in to glory on the 14th February. My son and I were beside her when she left. I was the luckiest man in the world when she agreed to go on a date with me. 40 years & 14 days. On our wedding day she was a princess but queen of my heart. I’m blaming myself for not fighting hard enough with the hospital for not treating her when they knew in September 21 and we found out in January 22. I miss her so much and feel that no one cares about me. I feel alone lost and angry
Hi Blueman, your story has great similarities to mine in many ways. I also couldn’t believe that such a beautiful loving girl would say yes to our first date. I thought she was out of my league, and asking her out was the bravest thing I ever did! Then 49 years 11 months later she died in hospital.
It wasnt that I blame myself for not doing enough with the hospital, I regret I probably tried too hard and didnt spend more time just holding her hand and telling her I loved her. I felt, like lots of men of our generation, that the main role within our marriages is to protect our wives from threats and danger. It’s an inbuilt trait going back to when we were cavemen fighting off sabre tooth tigers at our cave entrance. So I felt I had let her down. I found that overcoming regret is one of the most difficult emotions to overcome.
In reality, there was nothing I could have done, it wasnt my fault, it was just what happens when we are human. The only way forward was to forgive myself, as I forgave her for anything she did which upset me. (It’s unrealistic to believe that everything over 50 years was perfectly done by either of us). I’m sure she have forgiven you for being less that 100% perfect in every way, she still loved you with all your human frailties. She wouldnt want you to carry this burden for the rest of your life, and it’s holding you back.
Really sorry for your loss. And thank you for sharing your loss… I am still fighting for my wife. I got copies of her notes. I have found a lot of different discrepancies in them. They had. Scanned my wife back in September and missed it. A few minutes after being told we were asked to go and sit in a main corridor. If you can picture the scene a 60 year old man crying his eyes out because he was loosing his everything. My wife asked for pain relief and had to wait nearly an hour and a second visit in to the ward. We were told that the doc had forgotten them. I wish that was the only problem we had with the hospital. When we left the hospital we did not know what was happening next as no one told us anything
Hi folks. Like you guys, I myself am adapting to life without my wife, who passed in April after suffering a brain haemorrhage. I was working from home (thankfully) when she came upstairs to lay in bed, shouted through to me that she didn’t feel so good and never came back to me.
We got her to hospital where they did all they could for her for a couple of days, but the damage had been done. She left a beautiful six-year-old daughter and not only was seeing the love of my life slip away heartbreaking, it was having the conversation with our daughter that her mum wasn’t coming home that really broke me. The worst thing I’ve ever had to do.
Nearly three months on, the void around the house is still there and my daughter and I are still adapting, but it’s tough. We’ll get there one day.