Loss of my wife

I am not too bad when I am very busy but get exhausted very quickly. I dread the nights and especially the weekends.

Take care x

Morning Gerard hope u had a better night
Try lavender on a tissue or on ur pillow
So sorry wkends and night times r tough.

Big big hugs x

Morning, 5am today. Off to see the doctor this morning and then the councillor. I don’t want to take tablets as I saw Jacqui taking so many.

Feel very nervous today

Thank you for caring x

Good luck at the doctors hope u get on ok x

Doctors was ok but I now have to go Monday’s and Fridays. I know he is looking after me but it’s obvious he is concerned. I wonder if he thinks I have taken on too much too soon. I know I get exhausted very quickly so maybe I am doing too much. I have also saw the the councillor which is difficult x

Hi Gerard
Your Doctors r definitely looking after u and because u have no family close by they just want to keep their beady eye on u :slight_smile:

I know it seems a bit much now but later on you’ll look back and say thank goodness they did that.

Councelling is blady hard instead of making u feel better it can make u feel so much worse but it works threw the pain the confusion the anger the feeling of being lost. It will be ok.

Did the doctor give u anything or r u going to work threw it with Councelling?

Big hugs x

No he did not give me anything, I saw Jacqui take so many tablets and saw the side effects. I am going to keep going with the counselling and try and battle through it. I forgot to tell him about the sleep problem, I did forget to put a coffee capsule in the machine this morn8ng so had frothy coffee. I do forget a lot of 5hings and started to feel nervous which I have never been in all my life x

Im the same I couldn’t do the anti depressants I struggled threw with a councillor and u do get there in the end the scattered pieces of your life slowly come back again but there will always be that missing loved one.

Oh dear fothy coffee doesn’t sound very nice.

I’m very forgetful Gerard I believe its part of what ur going threw and my memory has never come back so be warned :slight_smile:

I’m sorry u felt nervous but ur going threw a lot ur still in shock ur devastated ur lost ur tired. There’s a lot going on for u.

Try and rest when u can x

I will, thank you for listening x

Thank you, that’s how I feel. I also died on February 7th at 10am and honestly I just want to be with my Jacqui. There is now no future just days until I will be with her. Family and friends do not know what to say or do and I know they will fade away. I talk to Jacqui all day, we were always together, we never did anything separately. I expect her to be there when I wake up, I expect her to be waiting for me when I come home ready to give me a hug.

I feel each day gets worse than the day before, I manage an hour before I start the days round of crying and I wish for the day to pass so that I can sleep for a few hours and get some relief from the relentless sadness and grief.

Daw are Sheila, I lost my beloved daughter 6 weeks ago and still in shock and disbelief. The only thing that keeps me going is her 2 beautiful boys and my other 2 children and my husband.
It is so sad what we are all going through and I am finding this forum helpful even though some days I can barely get out of bed. But I have made a promise to myself and to Gemma to keep putting one foot in front of the other. We will never ‘get through’ it but somehow we who are left have to carry on living and that is what I will try to do.
Take care x

I slept next to Jacqui even in hospital, with her drips up, we both wanted to be as close as possible until the last minute. She died with me giving her a hug, I hope she knew it

I do feel for you …Is there no clubs or groups you could join? They can be helpful and you can support each other. It’s difficult to describe the sense of loss fir me it is missing her physically, the hugs and just sitting chatting together. That is impossible to replace but I do hope life improves for you. Stay strong and sending you lots of love xx

Dear Gerard

I feel so sad for you and can identify with much of what has been said by you and others. I lost my husband less than four months ago and, though his illness had been progressing, we thought we still had time together. Like you I did everything for him and when I took him into hospital for a scan expected to bring him back after but he never came home again. After two weeks in hospital, which should never have happened, he was transferred to our local (wonderful) Hospice where he died three weeks later. I too spent most nights with him.

I still cannot believe he is gone and expect him to come in from his workshops. People are wonderful but have their own lives to live and, after all there is to do in the beginning arranging the funeral and sorting paperwork, you suddenly find yourself with the reality of facing the rest of your life without the person who was your reason for getting up in the morning. At the same time you find that people are not quite so attentive as they think you are ‘coping’.

I wish I could tell you that we shall learn to live with our loss and will find a purpose in life. Perhaps we shall but, at the moment, I am struggling to believe it. The only thing I have found which allows me to rest from my grief for a brief time is a Mindfulness App which has a 10 minute daily meditation. That helps me to empty my mind and find just a little peace.

My thoughts are with you as we all struggle with this sad and lonely journey.

I know it is very soon for me to think about anything but I just cannot see a future. My love, my best friend died and I died with her. I don’t think that anyone who has gone through it can imagine the total feeling of emptiness. I just exist from day to day and my fear is that even that will leave me. I struggle to take one day at a time and I can justvabout an hour at a time. I tried to be brave at the beginning but that soon went. It has only been 5 weeks 4 days now and it’s as though it’s an eternity.

I lost my wife to suicide only 6 days ago, we were together for 25 years and she was my world. I know its very early days and things are extremely raw, but I just didn’t want to feel alone

Hi GerardP
I also feel like no one else can be going through the level of loss I have for my wife, I cant begin to explain the bond we had and how I now feel like an empty vessel.

Hi Richard,
Bless you it is so very hard. My daughter took her own life 6 weeks ago and I am heartbroken … I think it must be the worst way to lose somebody. We knew that my daughter was down but never dreamt it was that bad. She has 2 children.
All I can say is the pain has been so bad some days I have hardly got out of bed but just this week I have started to feel s little more like my old self. Be kind to yourself, Richard, and I hope you have people around you to love and support you. This is a very rave first step which I think will help you.
Take care x

Thanks your words are so kind, I do have family and friends but all I want is my Sharon back.

Hello Richard, how sad I feel for you also, what can anyone say that you will not hear a thousand times and not one of those words help with the grief, the sadness, the loneliness or the disbelief. I had 3 years to think about my wife’s death but it is still a shock, I cannot believe that she has gone and that I will never see, talk, touch her again. I talk to her each day, when I wake up, when I come into the house or just simply to chat to her.
I am considering setting up a group, not counselling, which will allow bereaved people like us to share our experiences. I don’t know if it will help everyone but I suppose I need to know that I am not alone in my grief. I died at 10am 7th February 2018 but maybe knowing that others feel just the same will give some of us a forum to meet, share and support each other.

Gerard

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