Loss of my wife

Hello everyone
I lost my wife on the 27th of feb 2018 to lung cancer and to say the least I’m devastated, we were married 30years and together 33years . She’s was only 50 and I’m 54 ,so the whole of our adult lives from being young. I have suffered from depression since my early teens and she was my rock, we have two children 29 and 31 and three grand children I love them dearly, but I find myself starting to isolate myself ,and this is making me feel very guilty.i know Allie my wife wouldn’t want this but I have no motivation left in me and I think my depression and the grief is starting to take control, her funeral is next Tuesday a month from when she passed ,I know it is only early days but I seem to coping less each day and have gone through every emotion there must be , I’m so so sad a miss her so very much it feels like my word has come the end thanks for reading this and stay strong

Hi Jon
You have to keep your head up.When you are ready try and reach out for your wife through hypnotherapy and meditation.
If you need to chat I am here for you pal.Take care and always look up.

Thankyou for your kind words I will try my upmost it helps to know that are people who care

Hi another bad nights sleep ,with the sick to my stomach feeling, and a pain of emptiness in my heart ,I was feeling sick when I woke and thought I wanted to be sick but nothing came up, I guess this is another symptom of grief.i have read many of the posts on here and it is truly heartbreaking that we have to endure such pain , I haven’t replied to any as yet as I don’t know to say ,as I have no answers I only wish I did ,I wish I could help everyone one of you to ease your pain .the days seem never ending .

Hi Jon mate, Yep knows what its like, been through this myself. My wife passed away from MMD last April after 46yrs married.
Couldn’t sleep in our bed for weeks, and had a camp bed in the living room. Kept a small light on, and also radio on quietly, so not to feel so alone. Did manage to get some sleep. Im back in our bedroom now. Its been nearly a year now, and I still miss her like crazy, Guided Meditation I find is good, which you can find on YouTube. Its a long haul of grieving, and you will never stop, but you learn to except it, reluctantly. Think of the memories, laugh as well of all the fun times you had, Cry, and shout out! if need be, its a natural part of grieving, i did!. What you must do, is love and look after yourself. Keep in touch here, we are all in one way or another in the same boat…John

Hi thanks john
I’m sorry for the loss of your wife ,and I’m glad you have made some steps forward and your pain has eased a little ,this does make me feel a little better ,so Thankyou. I am waiting to see a bereavement councilor but this will be a couple of weeks after the funeral which is on Tuesday. I will have a look into the meditation when I feel up to it and can make the effort, as I know this will help with my depression and anxiety problems .jon

Hi Jon, I am so sorry you lost your dear wife, like I said previous, I know how your feeling, it was, is, the same for me. I looked after my dearest 24/7 for the year up to her passing.
Please believe me, when I say, they are still around in spirit, specially the first few months. I’ve had experiences I would not thought possible. Be aware, keep an open mind, talk to her, ask her to visit you in dreams, guided meditation to, they can come to you, it is very comforting.
My dearest, was cremated, so, I had the funeral director, save a pouch of her ash, some of which, I placed in a locket, for me to wear round my neck, along with her wedding ring, that way, always close to my heart.
Our home is the same as it’s always been, and, I keep up to the standards she always wanted. Have a small table, with her photo, and ash pouch, with a candle holder, which I light each evening, have done now for near on a year.
It does get easier to bare over time, and, I know we will eventually be together again, when the time comes, until then, got to carry on.
Hope that helps in some little way. Remember your not alone on this awful journey… John

Thanks John
It’s lovely what you are doing to keep her memory alive ,and I’m glad that it is helping you move forward a little , it is early days for me but I totally agree with what you say about loved one being near , there has been a few things that have happened to myself and family members that tells me that I’m being looked after And guided by my wife I hope it will continue and for you as well .jon

My wife’s funeral was yesterday one month exactly to the day , it was lovely more than I could of wished for I know that she would be really happy about everything from the flowers to the people who came and lovely donations to the hospice where she was for a short time, I must of been on auto pilot yesterday and a few days leading up to it as today it’s like trying to come to terms with it all over again. What a terrible day today has been

Hiya Jon matey. Glad all went well, was thinking of you yesterday.
I was the same after, I think, as you mentioned, your on autopilot leading up to the day. all the funeral organising ect tends to keep your mind focused. Afterwards, realism sets in, and the realisation of what we’ve lost, a sort of finalisation.
There’s no magic solution. Just have to think of all the happy memories, and grieve it out. Most inportantly, make sure you eat good, and try to sleep. Stay strong… John

Thanks Jon
I’m managing to eat I’m getting enough to keep me going but as you know appetite is one of the things that tends to suffer.ive read dozens of different posts on here all with similar or the same reactions to the loss and it’s comforting to know I’m not alone in how I feel, it’s so sad and seems so cruel for everyone ,I hope everyone is having the best day they can .jon