I don’t know why people seem to think this saying is fine to keep using that time heals. We who have lost a child are forever changed. I am getting to a stage that I think of Aimée from the moment I wake until I finally fall asleep in the early hours as I dont really sleep. I was trying to keep busy to help but that dont seem to be helping anymore. The panics are back and I feel I dont want a life without her with me I feel I am just stuck here existing each day in torture.
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Tracey and Chel66. I too have churned over and over in my head as to why the doctors kept putting Lisa on immune suppressant when they openly admitted that they really had no idea about her very rare lung condition. I honestly believe that if they had just kept her on a low dose of steroids she would still be with us. She said herself she felt like a laboratory rat! Who knows. Our children are gone and we will never know the answers
Love to you dear friends.
Kate xxx
Hi Lisa,s mum, My son Shaun was a healthy lad, he drove, had his own garage, until he got a hospital infection, time in time again I’d ask doctors to take blood test as he did have a infection, same answer every time. There,s no infection. Until he had a cardiac arrest, on life surport in organ failure, I did bring my son out of hospital to care for him myself at home, even though I never got told the truth about Shaun I knew myself he could only life for around 8omth,s. Which he did. Av still getting no answer,s yet. They sent there solicitor to have a meeting with me while Shaun was on life surport, he told me I had a case, multiple claims, in if win without a doubt. What they wanted was to keep me quite thinking money would be the answer. Money is nothing, I wanted my son bk in justice for Shaun in others in the future. As this neglect is happening all the time. I’ll never give up until they admit the mistake which cost Shaun his life.
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Dear Tracey, I am so sorry for you having to go through this. We who have lost our children all seem to have so many questions and maybe will never get the answers. I hope you can find some peace and closure around what happened to Shaun. He sounds like an amazing boy and no wonder you are so proud of him xxx
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Tracy there are so many things which seem to be hidden away in hospitals. Lisa was looked after exceptionally well in Aberdeen but it was what was happening before the disaster of her final weeks. Putting her on different drugs which made her vulnerable to catch any little bug out there.
I hope you can find some peace.
With love, Kate xx
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my mum when I was 5 years old…I’ve spent over half of my life grieving for her & now will spend the rest of my life grieving for my son who passed suddenly 9 weeks ago 
So sorry to hear about your son. Your grief will be very raw and all consuming. We here are friends united in our losses.
With regard to Brooke, she was only 3 and a half when her Mummy died so we are hoping that it hasn’t affected her so much. We all felt that if it had happened this year it would have been devastating for her.
Keep in touch with us, we know how bad it feels.
With love Kate xx
I know, it hurts so much. I can be fine for a good amount of time, then reality kicks in and I feel sick with grief.
I am much better now but I have our little granddaughter to keep me going. Our elder daughter has been so good with her and given her a purpose over the past months of lockdown. Jemma has returned to Edinburgh now but home this weekend. It’s difficult for all the family really.
You spent so much time with your precious daughter, her passing has left a huge void in your life, not just grieving for her but in all you did with her. Your every day life is changed and it’s not easy to find a way of living differently. You know we are here to talk though. Keep in touch. Talking here helps me a great deal , hope it helps you.
With love, Kate
Am really sorry for your loss of your mother in specialy your son. When I lost my daughter in 2014 ( Feb 21 ) I had just lost my only brother who I cared for on Jan 06-2014, just 6-7 week,s earlier also my nethew( brother,s 18 year old son) was found at home dead on June 30 th 2013. He also lost his other son on Feb 20-2008. After my brother,s first son dean died he started drinking him his elf ended up with liver damage through the drink, when his second son died in 2013 , a said then he would be dead himself within 6 months in I was right 6 months later we were buried my brother on his 51st birthday. Myself have to keep myself right as I.v got no answer,s over my son,s death yet. So fighting for justice for. Shaun and other,s in the future keep,s my mind off thing,s at the minute, as I promised Shaun I,d fight for answer,s. It,s really hear breaking reading everyone,s story,s as we,v all lost someone. Thank you so much for reading my story
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Jayne2
I am so sorry this day was so hard for you. Totally understand. It’s impossible to see a future without our beautiful loving sons (daughters/loved ones)
I’m so so sad & broken
This is so sad, I’m sorry to hear about your son. My cousin who was actually more like my brother died two weeks ago. I don’t know how to help my uncle his dad, I wish I could do more say more. It’s devastated us. I hope your ok
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All you can do is be there for your uncle. The grief is so raw at the beginning. People say that time heals but losing a child is not like that. We just learn to live with it beside us, the pain is always there but we learn to laugh and live our lives the way our lost children would have wanted.
With love, Kate xx
Hello Jenrock and Kate,
Kate is right, all you can do is be there for your uncle if he wants to talk let him if he wants to sit and cry let him, we do learn to live beside it, we never get over what has happened but we do still function and we live to the best of our ability the way our sons and daughters would want. I lost my son Sam who was 34 on December 9th 2016 from a brain tumour he was diagnosed in November 2012 in Sweden where he was living with Mathilda (she was Swedish) came home to tell me what had happened and had his operation here, he lived life to the full even after the operation going back snowboarding, jumping out of aeroplanes you name it he did it. Before he was diagnosed he went off travelling round the World and looking back I am so glad he did he met his future wife on a fruit farm in Childers Australia and had a ball. I miss him every single moment of every day but I try to think if I’m in a situation what would Sam say or do and I hear his voice and I cope.
with love Helen
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It’s my eldest son’s birthday on Wednesday,and whilst in the kitchen tonight cooking dinner I started to think of everything which had happened since he had been born…when my son was four months old I lost my Mother she was only fifty four and yes I was devastated but my newborn son was in hospital and my emotions were divided between the two, loss of my Mother and my son…In January 2017 I lost my eldest sister,who after the death of my Mother had not only been a sister but a Mother as well, and again I managed to cope with it.
In December 2017 I lost my youngest son,…it’s been two and a half years now and I am still grieving and I know and accept I will be for the rest of my life…losing a child is the worst pain that can happen in your life,a grief like no other …you made that child it is part of you…so part of you goes with them when they die.
Sorry for being so downbeat…but I had to come on here and say how I felt for I know it’s only on this site that you all understand and it is something we are all going through together.
Love to all xxx
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Marina you are so right to come here. You have all been so good for me so I know it’s such a release to open our hearts here. You have had so many sad events over the last few years, but nothing compared to losing a child. Nobody understands unless they have felt this pain. Nothing compared to the pain we feel every hour of every day. I was even holding back the tears taking Brooke home after her weekend with us. I caught sight of her in my rear view mirror stopped at traffic lights , looking up at the clouds . She is so beautiful and I thought she is thinking of her Mummy as she always says Mummy is in the clouds watching over us.
Its blooming hard my love, blooming hard. We never thought we would be here.
Kate 
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Dear Marina and Kate,
You are right … it is so hard and the pain never leaves us. And Marina never apologise for being downbeat. We all feel the same and all go through the same emotions. We hold each other up and you all keep me going.
The grief of losing a child is the worst thing we can go through but looking after each other helps so much.
Much love to you all 
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So grateful to have found all of you.
Kate:heartpulse:
Dear Kate and Victoria…
For me this site and all you dear people on here I regard as my massive comfort blanket,for whenever I am feeling down,upset or just feeling lost, I come on here wrap the blanket around me and instantly feel better…I would feel so lost without you all…xxx
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I’m so grateful I have found others who understand. Although I’m so sad & sorry that any of us are on this group, we weren’t given a choice. It’s 10 weeks ago today that I found my beautiful beloved son unresponsive in his bed, he had passed away 2 to 3 hours before according to paramedics. It was the worst moment of my life, for a few blissful moments I thought he was fast asleep. When I realised I knew my life would never be the same ever again. My son & I were so close, he was such good company, fun, loving & so caring. Both my sons understood why I was so protective of them as I had grown up from the age of 5 without my dear mum who took her own life & I knew all to well how precious life of loved ones is. I always had an unhealthy anxiety around loss as I’d lost my gran 4 months after my mum to suicide too. I literally can’t believe I have now lost one of my precious sons, how could this happen. He was perfectly healthy, the post mortem said so. They confirmed SADS sudden arrhythmia death syndrome as cause. They literally don’t know why at age 22 his heart stopped in the early hours of the morning on fathers day 21st June. I am completely lost without him, the void is horrendous & so painful. Ot breaks my heart for my other son as they were best friends, my family has been destroyed & I have no idea how I am going to live the test of my life without him. I find myself pretending he is away at uni or off travelling with his cousin but then reality hits like a ton of bricks. Everyone around me have wonderful things going on in their lives…sons/daughter’s all moving in with partners/ getting engaged etc. Don’t get me wrong I’m thrilled for them all but wish it was happening in my family but instead we are mourning for our baby boy (he’ll always be my baby boy, so will my other son). I feel like I’m in such a dark place with my heart broken into millions of pieces & no way of repairing it. Nothing anyone says or does can change anything & that realisation leaves me feeling like I am suffocating & panicking. I passed out a couple of weeks ago when the reality hit me. My mind is so all over the place trying to process it all. My son, my husband and I now have to have specialist tests on our hearts. I can only hope & pray with everything I’ve got that my other son is okay. Thank you all for reading & being there. I wish everyone best wishes for some peace & happiness.
xx
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Hi everyone I’m sorry to hear your story rach25. It must have been such a shock. I understand everything about the feeling of panic. I feel so low more time passes I’m missing daughter more and more I hate life without her. My world has been thrown in the air and all the piece lay at my feet with no hope of me ever putting them together again. I only had my daughter we was close spent 24/7 together I’m missing being a mum x