Hello Wynne, how are you not very good by the sound of it, you are right life is very hard, I just cannit seem to move on I feel very bitter, and like you life seems pointless,We have had a few holidays, and it does take you mind off it for a while ,everyone seems to think when you get back as you have a sun tan, you are back to normal ,if only they knew how many tears there were sitting round the pool, wishing our lovely Dawn could have this. Yes I am going to se another medium next month hoping for just a tiny sign just to keep me going not had any feathers lat
ely. Yes Iām dreading her birthday coming up I think this why I have been worse,cant seem to stop crying. Have you not had any more signs from Daniel? Love to you and everyone else who is suffering .
Dear Maddie, Helen, Julie and others. Five months today and the pain never seems to stop. Life now just seems in so many ways a pointless daily trudge trying to get through till tomorrow. Distractions help for a short time and then you are brought back to the reality of being an incomplete family with a vital person missing. I have tried going back to work and that helps fill time but now the school wants me to commit to returning four days a week which just seems too much too soon. I wonder how you are all doing and hope there is some light at the end of this dark tunnel. Do you have dreams of your children? Sending you love. Wynne
Hi all.
I not dreamt of Antony it 7 month on Friday. Am back at work phased return. This week is 3 full days 9 till 6. Next week is 3 n half days etc each week go up 4 hours by beginning Aug I will b back to 40 hours. Work is distraction makes me think more of how can this be real?. How can I be working and Antony not be here. Dont cry at work I do that at home. I try tell myself Antony would not want me to give up. Which would be so easy to do. They say 2d year is worse. I hope to God it isnāt as donāt think Iād cope with that xx
Hello Wynne,Helen, Julie Anne and everyone else who is in pain and suffering.Well this is I have been dreading it is our lovely Dawns birthday she would have been 47 today.My other daughter and her husband and our 3 grandchrildren are all coming to her grave to lay a rose tied with a blue ribbon her favorite colour,then we are going for a meal which will be nice I do not know what state I will be in afterwards,its just like you cannot seem to move on,pehaps I donāt want to I just want to keep her in my mind and heart still cannot believe I will never see her again.It just isnāt fair lets hope and pray they are at our side and they know how much we love and miss them. Big hugs to all of you .Maddie
Dear Maddie, I thought of you on Dawnās birthday and know it must have been so difficult. These significant dates only pierce the heart again and again so that the wounds continue to bleed. Only those who have suffered this lost can really fully understand how parents feel about their children. I hope you were able to find some joy with the rest of your family on Dawnās special day. Sending love to all Wynne
Hello everyone here, I have found itās those small, spontaneous acts of kindness that is helping me through. Life keeps throwing up those curved balls, does nāt it realise that the loss of your child is enough ? When I think Iām at rock bottom and canāt cope any longer and hurting so much it has been just that reaching out by someone that can give that chink of light which shows me the way forward.
It is the same on this site, everyone is hurting so, but has the generosity of spirit to respond to others, and it can make all the difference.
Love to you all, Anneka x
Hello All
Anneka you are so right, it is the spontaneous acts of peopleā¦I have just learned that a chap who lives in the next village has the same brain tumour as Sam hadā¦he is 46 is divorced originally, but between him and his partner they have 5 childrenā¦and 1 grandchild. He has been given around a year to live but wants to marry his partner but there is no money available but the community rallied round we now have a wedding venue with a wedding planner, a dress shop that has given the gown to the bride, and morning suit for Jason, all food donated by a local company. All the prosecco and champagne donated by the local co-op you name itā¦it has been donated, table decorations, fresh flowers from the Church to decorate the community centre and everyone there to make it happen, me included! It just goes to show. Sam would have been there helping in anyway that he could he was that type of person so I am helping where I can (I think Iām laying the tableās!) there is 120 guests and we will make sure that Jason and his bride have memories she can keep. It is not easy but I know Sam is all around me and although I have some terrible times and at times I have thought it would be so easy to take a few pills and remove myself I know I canātā¦I have my grandson Stanley, my twin granddaughters ( all of 10 weeks old) by eldest son and my husband John but above all this I have SAM he wouldnāt even want to know me if I gave up on lifeā¦so I continue as much as it hurts, there is no choice whatsoeverā¦!!
With all my love, my heart goes out to you all, Wynne Julie Maddie and all the people that I may have missed on this site
xxHelen
Hello everyoneā¦
Something, somewhere, someone, somehow makes us keep going. Sometimes it may feel easier to give up, but we get through. Letās get through, letās stay here to be the ones to tell the story of our daughters and sons for as long as we can to as many people as we can. We must. They are the people they were because of us, their parents. We donāt understand and never will but they live on in us.
XX
Hello everyone
I havenāt been on this site recently, what can I add that has not already been said. It is only just over four months since my lovely son Chris died. But it seems so much longer. This month has had me in floods of tears for no specific reason, but just because I miss him so much I would like to share with you my experience my daughter and I had last evening. We met a lovely friend of my niece who is a medium.
He gave us a very accurate reading which answered some unresolved questions. It was such a comfort to me to know that my son is still looking after me from wherever he us now, and could feel his love so strongly.
I do believe they are still around us, and take comfort from that.
I hope that you all continue to see āsignsā of your loved ones, as they are still around, but just in a different form
Love to you all
Chrisās mum
Hi everyone, oh I hope you are right pollanna about our loved ones walking beside us, as I donāt feel like I am moving on I just do not feel Dawn around me at all like some of you do.Ijust feeli am getting worse, it hasent helped that her husband has a new girlfriend and they went away on her birthday,we donāt speak to him any more. and just feel that it just another thing to make the pain worse. Cant wait to see another spiritualist.in august,just need one little sign to keep me going. love to you all Maddie.
Hi Maddie, I am sorry that you do not feel Dawn around, it may be that your grief and anger at her passing is blocking you from feeling Dawn. I am sure that Dawn would not have wanted her husband to mourn her the rest of his life, but get on with his life. I am sure he will never forget her, but must get on with his life. Have you tied meditating, it is a good way to relax and you may feel dawn closer to you at that time. Itās worth a try.
I hope you donāt think I am preaching, but just trying to help
Love to you
Polly
Hello Maddie
I do feel for you about Dawnās husband, my sister in law had the same thing she lost her son Ben in a freak accident 2 years ago. Within months of that happening his wife met someone else, Ben and Zoe had a little girl and in order not to lose contact with the little girl she made it clear that both Zoe and her new partner were welcome to come and see her. Zoe always comes to the house and to any of our family gatherings he does not. His choice but I think like Zoe said it is a form of healing for her, though to my mind itās like trying to replace them and in their own way they are still grieving.
I have been asked by a friend who runs a temping agency if I would do the odd day here and there filling reception/secretarial work, Iāve agreed and on Monday I will just do the one day. I think itās going to help me somewhat.
With love to you all. Helen
Hello Polyanna
I too went to see a medium and would love to see another. Does this medium do this as a job and if so could I have their contact details if you feel it appropriate please?
with love Helen
Hi Helen,
Jamie has done I before, but he has been unwell, and feels a bit unsure about his abilities He is joining a spiritualism circle to strengthen his abilities. If he starts again I will give you his number. Where do you live, we are in Sussex
Polly
Hi Polly
I live in Bristol, I saw one she was from London and very good but I have just seen a local one today and she was floundering nothing she said seem to ring true, so I thought I would try again with someone who was good and recommended. Thanks Polly, if he starts again let me know as I know also that my niece would like to see someone (Benās sister my sister in law lost her son 2 years ago).
love Helen
Dear Helen, Polly and all other mums. I have been following the latest messages from you all regarding having signs from our dear sons and daughters. I too with love to have some concrete evidence that Daniel is happy in the after life. Sometimes I do feel him around me but wonder if that is just my wishful imagination and the need to have him still in our lives. I have thought seriously about seeing a spiritualist but to be honest I am rather scared of either not hearing anything or hearing something negative. It is so good to hear how you all are keeping your children fresh in your minds and talking about them. It is coming up for six months and I dread the thought of close friends and family gradually moving on and forgetting about our boy. Sending you all much love. Wynne
Hello helen, so glad to hear about your new job,tell you the truth,anything that takes our minds of our heartbreak for evan a couple of hours has got to help. We are considering moving,we must be mad as everyone loves our little bungalow, I must admit it is perfect,but we are thinking of a new product ,just to get us through this year,I am so dreading December and xmas I have told everyone I am not doing it this year as december11th,was dawn left us tell you the truth,every time I hear the word xmas I just want to die. Good luck in your new job Maddie
Hi Maddie Helen Gwynne and all
Christmas will be bad for us all. My daughter and I have decided to go away for Christmas to try to take our minds off of Christmas.
Chris was s Diagnosed a week before Christmas, it will a lways be a bad time For us. I hope we all find some way to get t hough it. Especially if it is your first Christmas without your loved ones
Love
Polly
Hello All
Christmas isnāt going to be easy for me either because we were told he may only live a week or two on the 28th November we had Christmas day on the 3rd December, he died on the 9th December. I too would love to be away for Christmas, but with the grandchildren and all the other family it is going to be hard to do so. I just hope we can. My niece is seeing another medium soon she has waited months to see him so I will wait to hear what he has to say about her brother Ben and if he seems to be good then I will try and make an appointment. One thing about yesterday seeing the medium she did say, āSam is saying I was always a free spirit please donāt put me in a box to enclose meāā¦which he was always travelling and thinking about it I was thinking to myself about a large ornament to go in the garden that I could put his urn in a day or so ago. So maybe I have to think again he loved the sea.
with love Helen
Hello helen,so glad you got a good reading ,do you feel any better ,oh I hope so, thatās all I want . Life is so hard at the moment we had two daughters, one we lost in December Sarah our other daughter was great when dawn passed,now I just donāt know whats going on I just seem to anoy her I just feel so lonely she cant seem to understand how I feel we hardly se her when we do she she does not have anthing to say to we used to be so close,i just donāt know whats gone wrong.we have just spent 5 days looking after her house while the rest pf the family went to france to see her husband ,mother and father, I just feel so left out.,some days just want to give up .sorry to be so depressing, I just cant see it getting any better.love maddie.