Loss of parents

Hello everyone!

I have just joined the group and am pretty nervous about it!

I lost my dad in October 2016, the end of the year I had my son to who I am a single parent, then sadly I lost my mum in November 2018 , dad had dementia so as harsh as it sounds his death was a blessing in the end! Mum however was not expected at all- she had a massive stroke and died 6 days later , but mum was my best friend, my rock , my go to, my house mate( we lived with her) !

I miss them both but more so my mum, my siblings don’t bother with me since mum died so I literally am alone . I’ve been told it gets easier with time , but it’s not! I’m off work sick again because of depression and anxiety! I am on a list for counselling via my dr but I’m struggling emotionally with life in general without my mum! I can’t move on, I have no motivation to do anything!

Anyone to advise or talk to would be much appreciated!

Thank you so much for your time in reading my message.

Regards

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Hi @Tracyn,

I would like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling.

I’m so sorry to hear about your dad and mum. Grief is such a unique and personal experience for each individual, and your emotions may be different depending on the relationship; that’s completely normal.

I would like to reassure you that you’re not alone. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support.

Thank you so much for sharing and please do keep reaching out.

Take care,
Becca
Online Community Team

Thank you for your lovely reply:)

I wasn’t sure if Sue Ryder would be able to help me, because my parents died of other than cancer which is what I always associate Sue Ryder with :cry:

No it’s for any type of bereavement lovely x

I am so sorry you feel this way. I know all too well how it feels to lose your Mum as I to lost my mother in March and I’m really struggling to cope with it.

I realise she took huge part of me with her that I’ll never get back. I don’t think I’ll ever get over losing her. I dont even know who I am anymore.

Like you my Mum was my best friend who was there for me and never failed to show her love for me and my siblings.

I feel your pain when you say your siblings never bother with you much because I am in the same boat. They never contact me unless I contact them.

I am sorry I am not much help but I hope that it helps in some where knowing that you’re not alone in feeling this way.

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It’s very hard. Especially to function when you have a child that relies on you and I’m in the middle of a massive pity party as we speak. I’m even crying in front of my daughter which I shouldn’t be doing as she shouldn’t have to see me like this but I feel like it’s all about to come crashing down.

I lost my mum in April and she was my only source of help with looking after my daughter so now I’m literally up the creek without a paddle on top of everything else.

I work full time (can’t afford to do anything else) and I also have to care for my dad as he’s terminally ill and the depression is really starting to kick in as I can’t manage to juggle everything on my own and it feels like there’s nowhere to turn.

I don’t have any advice because I’m drowning in it myself but you’re not alone even though it feels like it.

All we can do is keep on keeping on and hope things get easier.

This group is a god send for talking to people in similar situations though.

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Hi, being a single parent is extremely tough, especially when you’re trying to cope without a support network. Your Mum would naturally have been this for you, so without her you must feel very alone. I’ve been a single parent for my 16 year old son pretty much all his life, his Dad left when he was a baby and then died a decade ago. My Mum gave me practical and emotional support until she died earlier this year. Now I feel isolated and engulfed by the responsibility of parenting. At least my son is now older, but for you, I imagine it’s easy to feel somewhat trapped. Do you have any good friends who might be able to help you? Are there any community support groups around you? Keep reaching out to share how you feel, you are not alone in how you’re feeling. Take care xx

It’s not a nice feeling knowing that siblings are there but don’t bother with you , like you mine only bother if I contact them, but it’s a two way thing in my opinion!

I’m not sure if I’ll ever get over loosing my mum either she was and always will be a massive part of my life and she wasn’t afraid to show her affections to us , or at the same time she would tell us off even as adults ! I cry daily for her and as crazy as it sounds I always say good night to her, tell her I love and miss her!

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I work full time as well but I’m off sick because of anxiety, depression and stress! I am sorry to hear about your dad- I feel your pain there too! Being an “adult orphan” is hard !

When I first lost my mum I was told if I needed to cry in front of my son - to do it- so he knows it’s ok and natural to show emotions, now he’s a bit older if I cry he gets me a tissue and starts clowning around to make me laugh- but I feel so guilty about him seeing me upset so much! Like you the tears are pouring down my face again , but he’s not here - he’s at school !

Massive hugs to you and I’m here to chat- you too are not alone in this!

No it doesn’t sound crazy because I do exactly the same thing, I also kiss her photo good night. I write to her nearly every day. I do think she is around me in another form though and I’ll see her again one day and believe the same for your Mum x

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