Loss of parents

Hi guys I’m new to the group I lost my mam in December last year and then my Dad in January I had just had there funerals and found out I was pregnant after trying for 3 years. I truly believe he was a gift from them however after a traumatic pregnancy and birth it has all of a sudden dawned on me that my man and dad are gone. I feel numb angry sad shocked and don’t know what to do. I keep finding myself in tears thinking why them why me.

Hi . We laid my dad to rest yesterday. I have feelings of guilt and pain. I wasnt the best of children tho im 52yrs now. I’m my younger days I was a bit of a jack the lad. Which caused my dad tremendous amounts of stress. Though it was liver cancer which claimed his life I feel I contributed to to his ill health. In his last days he did hug me a said he forgave me for the past but i can’t help this feeling I killed him
I have panic attacks every night so I only mange 1/2hr at most a day. I watched my dad’s last breathe leave his body , now as soon as i shut my eyes I feel like I’m suffacating. I thought I was a tough guy , but this has destroyed me. I think same why me why my dad. It’s horrible. I’m sorry for your loss too. I can understand what your going through tho.