Thank you TomTom for your message. Everything you said is on the mark. I can’t believe I don’t have gin anymore. He was everything to me. I never in my wildest dreams thought this is how I’d lose him. I will always think back on all the things I could have done differently. I have no idea how I’m going to live without him. I’m so lonely without him. I wish I could just give him a kiss and cuddle. Xxx
Dear Tomtom,
Like you, l was the stronger person in our relationship although there have been many a day when l have felt very l weak .l didn’t tolerate any nonsense then and l certainly won’t now. l am looking after number one now. as many people just seem to irritate me nowadays. l prefer my own space… l have just purchased a new build house and am looking forward to doing it up and keeping busy in the garden. This was supposed to be a joint move but l had to see it through on my own, so l must have some fight left in me.
l really can’t stand all the xmas decorations and everything else that goes with it. it is so hard. l still almost can’t believe l’m in this position… Never to see my hubby again or hear his gentle voice. No one will ever be able to walk in his footsteps. He was my world, he treated me like a Queen and now he’s gone.
As for the mercenary family members, the cost of energy and fuel has gone up. lt’s only a matter of time before they come round bleating…Remember, look after number one now as there is no one else to look after us,Lets’s all stay strong and see what tomorrow brings.
Love and hugs,
Eve xx
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Hi Jen,
Please try and stay strong. l can’t really say much as l resonate with what you are going through. lt is too painful to go into detail but l too lost my husband to covid… He went to pay his mother an end of life visit in a care home as she had it and was nearing the end… He caught covid from her, went into hospital, was put on a ventilator and was gone in less than 3 weeks. He was 2 days away from his 55th birthday. and ended up having a joint funeral with his mother.
l still can’t get my head around why he succumbed to the virus so quickly. It has been very difficult to comprehend. Many older people than him have been ventilated and survived. His blood pressure dropped and his organs just started shutting down. No pm’s with covid, so we will never know exactly why some people don’t survive ventilation.
Pace yourself, only do what you want, when you want… Keep on taking baby steps.
Sending hugs xx
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