Loss of partner


I lost my partner 7 weeks ago from a very rare condition that he never knew he had.

I’m really struggling with everything from day to day stuff to getting angry and wanting to be alone or join him ( I am ot suicidal but I just want to be with him) I have nobody to talk to that knows what I am going through to ask for advice on how to try and cope, I have his ashes at home and I don’t know what I am supposed to do with them if I should be doing anything with them I just don’t know what to do!

My partner was 37 when he was taken from me and I really don’t know how to carry on, I know i have to as I have two children.

I just don’t know how to breath sometimes and I don’t know how to handle everything. I’m very lost and confused and angry I cannot stop crying, I want him back but I know I can’t.

I’m not sure what I’m actually asking from anyone but I just needed to tell someone how I was feeling.

Thank you for listening.



Everything you’re feeling is perfectly normal on this horrible journey that nine of us wanted to be on. Sometimes you do have to take it just one breath at a time. Check out refugeingrief.com it’s written by someone who suddenly lost her partner at a similar age to you. She has also written a book and knows what it’s like. You can sign up for counselling here or with Cruse and also your GP may be able to offer support. Take help from wherever you can and keep posting here as people will support. There are so many of us that keep going for our kids - it is exhausting though. Sending hugs

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Hi Sam

I’m 16 weeks down the line since losing my husband suddenly and have gone through all the emotions like you, I can understand you feeling angry snd upset and wanting to be with him as I was exactly the same and still
Sometimes feel the same now. We get so confused, not knowing what to do.

Everyone mostly on here is in more or less the same position so please keep posting on here as there is always someone to speak to, to vent to etc and we can understand where you are coming from as it’s a completely different situation losing your partner. The early days you don’t know what you are doing, how you put one foot in front of the other but we do.

Keep posting on here whenever you need to and Sue Ryder also provide an online counselling service which you can sign up for also.

Sam xx

what you need to do say whatever you want to say here. People here understand. This is a horrible journey which we must soldier on alone but knowing that somewhere someone feel the same agony makes it less unbearable…

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I lost Micheal in December 2020, he was all right sunday gone Wednesday and the shock was overwhelming I read a lot on here and it does help us people in the same situation But it doesn’t get away from the fact you’re on your own it doesn’t matter about who helped you and the family who are, Supportive but they do get on with their lives and it’s really really difficult every day to get up knowing already that they gone and that bank holiday weekend you didn’t go out you didn’t do anything, and each night you now watch your best friend the tv…and rewatch programs time and time again. And then the next day it’s starts again, People say join a club go on walks voluntary work why, when you never did it in the first place it doesn’t replace any think….You almost gloss over your unhappiness, I wish I could just wake up one morning just one morning and feels a bit happy contented or just good…l wish……


I lost my partner in June last year he was 42 im 37 and we have a daughter who is 12 he died in different circumstances to yours but thats how i felt at the begining not knowing what to do where to turn wanting him back its awful
im over a year on now and im not going to lie i still struggle and the grief comes in waves go so long them bam it hits again ive learnt thats probably how its going to be and that i have to make the most of the good days as hard as it is

take care