Loss of sister

I have just lost my sister a week ago today she was 67 and fell ill very suddenly , she lived in Holland so I hadn’t seen her for a long time.
I flew over to be with her and held her hand when she passed away a few days after falling ill
I have done nothing but cry since I got home , I feel so sad and guilty that I hadn’t gone to see her sooner , I don’t know what to do I feel terrible , just keep wishing I had made more of an effort to go and visit and spend happy times with her when I had the chance.

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Hi Mals, So sorry about your loss. I also lost my Sister (younger). My Sister died of cancer very suddenly. Like you, I was by her side, holding her hand. It was the worst day of my life, and a part of me died. Grief makes us question everything we did or did not say or do. The “if only, and what ifs” only serve to accentuate our grief. It has been three years since I lost my precious Sister, we were more than sisters, we were best friends, confidants and soul mates. As close as we were, I still torture myself with thoughts of what more I could have done, what should I have said or not said, did she know how much I loved her? I even ruminate over our entire life together to find things I can feel guilty for. For me it is a form of self punishment. I suffer from survivor’s guilt, wondering why the better person had to be taken. Our love for our sisters causes us to have wanted to be perfect for them, thus we berate ourselves for anything less (real or imagined) Your loss is so fresh and there are so many emotions you must be experiencing. It is overwhelming. I hope you can be kinder to yourself at this devastating time of loss. I am glad you found this site. It has been a great comfort to me, that is why I keep returning after 3 years. We also have a “Sibling Loss” forum you might want to visit. Take care and know you are not alone. Xxx Another Sad Sister :broken_heart:

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Thank you for your kind words , I am heartbroken and feel like I won’t recover.
I can’t stop crying or thinking about all the things we should of done together had we been given the time, I’ll never be able to say I’m going for a holiday to see her again.
We were so far apart but still close , everything happened so fast I just wish I’d had more time :broken_heart:

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I understand Mals. I feel the same. Although we were together in person, and shared daily texts and long phone calls, I nevertheless still mourn for the future we’ve been robbed of. We used to laugh about growing old together. We shared every season of our lives and thought it would surely go on into our later years. It must have been so hard for you living far apart. “Recover” I do not believe one can ever fully recover from such a traumatic loss. The best we can do is try to hold on to the beautiful memories, and be grateful we had their light in our life. However for me the pain & loneliness remains ever present in my life. I wish you hope and peace in this struggle. Please post any time. You will find many lovely people here. Xxx :broken_heart:

Thank you I’m really at a loss for words :cry: I just feel guilt and hate myself for not going to see her sooner , time passes so quick and I’ll always regret that I don’t make the effort to visit :broken_heart:
Im sorry you still feel sad :disappointed: it’s very hard and your right we probably don’t fully recover :cry:

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Todays not a good day I can’t get out of bed , staring at the walls wondering why she’s gone :cry:going over and over all the if onlys! :broken_heart:

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