loss of wife

lost my wife Feb. 2020 after 30 years together was hell at the time , but now its between grief and my mental health it can be a struggle do my best day to day was her carer for 8 years of it , when she went i never seen her eyes looking so blue when she winked at me as if to say its ok . still cant sleep anywhere other than my side of bed when she was in pain was very edge of bed the times i hate now is i still turn over to hold her then she not there that hits hard after being 8 years of not being able to cuddle / cwtch.

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sorry put in wrong category