Loss ontop of loss

So im just over 5 weeks on from my sisters sudden death. This morning i got a message from my younger cousin to say that my aunt died during the night. Completely unexpectedly, she went to sleep and never woke up.

My head is just very mixed up.

8 years ago, in 2015, my dad died. We hadnt been close to his brother and sister in law for a variety of reasons, most of which are unknown to me. When dad got ill i strove to build a relationship with that side of the family. It was working and when dad deteriorated 10 years ago, it brought us closer together and my uncle was amazing with us and with my dad for those last few years. 5 years ago, in 2018, my uncle was killed in a car crash. It felt like a huge link to dad had been broken. But since my uncles funeral, my cousin and i have got to know each other a bit more through text and messages.

It was her who messaged me this morning to say my aunt had died.

My head is so confused. All i can think about is the funeral. When i went to my uncles funeral I went with my sister. Theres a whole extended family we dont know so there was security in us going together. My brother in law wasnt able to get time off work. During the wake one of my other cousins got very drunk and started going on about how we didnt know the family and listing all the things and people we didnt know. He was right but we did as much about that as we could. Mum kept us apart.

So now im left with another link to dad gone and total confusion about the funeral. Its only 3 weeks since we buried my sister, and the only reason i could cope with my uncles funeral was being with my sister. My brother in law offered to come with me as hes due holiday’s and its 200 miles away. But i dont know how well id cope so soon after my sisters funeral and i dont know how id feel putting my brother in law through that.

My head is just full to bursting.

That is such a lot to cope with, @vivmt - it’s completely understandable you are feeling so mixed up.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to say I’m so sorry for the losses you have experienced. @Alex shared some Sue Ryder resources with you recently which I hope may be helpful to you. Please do keep reaching out - you are not alone.

Take good care,