Lost a family member suddenly

I lost my grandad really sudden amd by sudden i mean i went on holiday and he was fine happy wanting a gift when we got back.

When we got back we had a phone call the monute we stepped into the house saying my grandad had collapsed due to his legs giving way. We phoned a amublance and he was rushed to the hospital and the diagnosis was that he had a water infection.

Monday we went to visit him and still he looked well and happy even if he wasn’t liking his stay in hospital. Tuesday was the same (i dropped family off but waited in the car park for them) until the evening when he started to detoriate the doctors thought he would stabilise and recover.

My mam went to see her friends to have coffee and a chat on wednesday thinking that nothing would happen to him and at about i answered the house phone and the hospital said he had detoriated again and we should rush in to see him at that moment i just phoned my mam and cryed and some how i managed to tell her to get to the hospital.

I waited and suddenly knew what happened when my dad came in from work really early and just went up to my bedroom and cryed. I did manage to get myself alright to go round to work and say that i was going on bereavement leave.

I have sort have put a facade up to let people know that i am alright but while my mam is sorting the funeral out with my nanna i am burying my head into either playing video games or watching youtube videos but my mam has said that i should go back to work when my bereavement leave ends to try and get back into routine and just have the day off when its the funeral but i feel its way to fast and that i will do something regrettable.

I think that is my mam’s way of greiving of losing her dad aswell but what can i do?

Hello James
I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you have lost your grandad so suddenly it must be such a shock that he has gone.
Please read some of the posts on here and you will realise you are not alone and when you are shut away in your room many of us are doing something similar and we understand the pain you are going through when you loved someone as you did your grandad.
You are young and your mum will be trying to make things better for you as well as dealing with her own grief. All i can say is that everyone needs time to grieve and if you really think you need more time then you should take that and please please you must cry dont try and bottle up your feelings.
Some people on here have lost parents wives husbands children etc but we all understand the pain and sadness of losing a loved one.
Please take care and try and talk to someone how you feel a friend family member it really does help to talk sometimes
Take care
Carol x