Tragically lost my best friend at university down to drugs. Me and my flat mate found her laying in bed lifeless. I cannot get that image out my head. I feel the most nervous person in the world. Scared of attachment with anyone as I think I am just going to loose them like I did her.
Welcome to the Sue Ryder Online Community. I’m so sorry to hear that you lost a friend in such an awful way. It sounds as though finding her was quite a traumatic experience, and I’m sorry you are dealing with such awful flashbacks and fear of attachment.
Have you had any counselling or bereavement support to help you deal with this? If you are still at university, there will normally be a student counselling service.
I’m glad that you’ve found this online community, and I hope it helps a little to have this space to get things off your chest. While you wait for more replies to your post, I have found some other posts by people who’ve lost close friends - you might find it helpful to have a read of these and maybe post a reply if you would like:
Courtney lost her best friend suddenly: https://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-death-loved-one/loss-best-friend
Claire lost two friends, including one due to alcohol: https://support.sueryder.org/community/life-after-bereavement/loosing-3-family-member-has-brought-back-my-past-what-can-i-do
The Loss Foundation has some information about flashbacks that you might find helpful: https://www.thelossfoundation.org/nightmares-and-flashbacks/
The BEAD (Bereaved by Alcohol and Drugs) website might also be helpful: https://www.beadproject.org.uk/
If there’s anything I can help with, or you have any questions about this site, just let me know. You can private message me or email me on firstname.lastname@example.org
I am so sorry that this has happened to you, what a terrible thing for you to have to go through, what a dramatic event. It will take you a while to get over this but I expect that the memories will fade after a while but this will not be quick. Are you seeing anyone to help you through this time, is there someone at university whoop could talk too, do not go through this on your own. Grieve takes many forms and you unfortunately you are experiencing it at a young age, do not suffer in silence.