I lost my fabulous wife Sylvia in June. It hurts so much to be alone. Unfortunately we didn’t have children or siblings so I am very much reliant on friends who have been good but have their own lives to get on with.
I keep the radio on all day even when I am out just so there is a noise in the house when I come back.
People who have been through this tell me that eventually I will come to terms with the situation but at the moment the light at end of the tunnel is definitely not on
Hi Bob18. Even though we may have others to talk to, it’s not always so easy to do so. I’m certainly conscious of the fact that I don’t wish to become a burden and they do indeed have their own lives to live. It also doesn’t help that it would normally be my partner that I would turn to during difficult times. I’ve found this community to be a source of light during this dark period, so please reach out if you need to. Take care.
Hi Sharrona. Thanks for that, just reading through other peoples comments on this site is great help. Realising that I am not alone in sobbing my heart out on a daily basis is a comfort, but after 46 years of happy marriage it’s only to be expected.
I am having a massive cry right now ,my darling passed away 7 weeksd ago today.I am a broken man.I find that crying does relieve some of the pain for a while.We had 32 wonderful years but it was stolen by that evil cancer.Now I have to face the rest of my life without the one person who made my life worthwhile.Loneliness is eating me away,I see friends now and again and phone people now and again but the rest of the time I am alone in this empty house,not a home anymore.We are not alone on here,many are suffering this grief everyday.I hate this new life ,never wanted it .Michael.
I am in the same place as you, lost my wife to Nuroendocrine Cancer.
Hello it’s been 13 months was like you at the beginning had loads of counselling and my 15 year old daughter taking to me like a 50 year old and slowly things changed it’s better in terms of raw grief weeks and months pass without tears but they are not gone for good or ever will be but I promise you somehow the pain eases ever so slightly month after month x
Hello Sharrona
I really feel for you.
My husband passed away on 23 Oct age 82 yrs , he had stage 4 inoperable bowel cancer for the last 5 months. Caring for him was so tough as there wasn’t much respite to help us.
He was 22 years older than me but feel so lucky to have been with him for the last 42 years ( they all said it wouldn’t last)!
Although his death wasn’t unexpected he has left a massive void in my life, my 3 daughters have been amazing but I still have to go home to an empty house, I’ve been trying to get out the house everyday just to talk to people, but end up getting so upset I have to go home. I’m hoping after the funeral I will feel more positive, and I will have to go back to work after Christmas. Reading all these posts from people in the same situation is comforting to know that we’re not alone in our grief,
I really hope time us a great healer like they say!
Take care.
I feel your pain & I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my Derek almost 2 years ago, just before Christmas 2019. I recognise what you’re feeling & how overwhelming & scary the future looks. I took to writing a journal & poetry about my feelings & also a book of funny stories, places we’ve been to & happy times we’ve had. I still WhatsApp his phone telling him about my day.
The days are still hard to bear without him & I have some very low days & the tears don’t stop. Grief is the price of great love & doesn’t end I’m afraid. You do learn to know when you need to switch off the world & have that day. It’s not failing, it’s recognition that you will always grieve & need to make time to do so even years on.
Up until last week Derek’s dad was still here. His Dad who was someone who shared the grief of losing a partner but also was happy to talk about his son & his early years. I felt I got to know Derek even better & it was my connection. Derek’s Dad passed away last week & I feel I’ve gone backwards. Unfortunately lots of people think that you will have moved on after so much time & tend not to talk about it. Even children have their own lives to live, their life as they knew it didn’t end when they lost their Dad as ours did. I am lucky to have a couple of very good friends who have helped me enormously & we still talk about Derek a lot. Derek’s Dad’s funeral on Friday that’ll be tough & evoke many memories. I’ll be sad for him but also for My Derek.
Everyday brings a new challenge, some seem impossible but you’ll get through. I’m proof that somehow you get through each day. The happy memories will eventually bring more smiles than sadness & that’s an achievement.
Take care 
x
Oh I am so sorry my friend,that evil thing is destroying so many lives and families.I am in a living hell right now,my grief for Judith is killing me day by day,I want to be with her again.Michael.
I wish l could say it will get easier but I will be telling a fib some days are more culpable then others, and some days I just barely exist I think that you when you actually really love somebody and you share every single moment of your life with them, it’s the price you pay when they’re not there. It’s Christmas round the corner which is hard enough I lost Michael on December 19, 2020 it was the worst Christmas of my life and to be honest this year is no better but I am spending it with my son And his partner and their friends some of are my age so it won’t be too bad and I am looking forward to it in a funny way just glad I’m not on my own to be honest….
Hi Miller1. I’m at the very beginning of my grief so I’m riding that rollacoaster of emotions. Currently on the dips and turns. I’m waiting for it level out onto the straight tracks . I hope that your experience proves to be the same or at least similar for me. Thanks for connecting.
Hi, I’m sorry for your loss. My partner passed away on the 20th of October due to ill health. His death was inevitable but he was only 50 so it’s hard to take. My grief seems to be split in 2. The head is trying to come to terms with the loss and accept it, while the heart mourns it and wishes that it had never occurred. Hopefully for all of us having to go through this, we will reach a stage where we can live with the grief rather than being consumed by it. Take care.
Yes it is the price you pay for love,the grief is unbearable at the moment,I can hardly get through each day,I cry all the time for her ,she was magical and Christmas was so special for her ,she spoilt me with loads of presents and lovely food.I am going to my Daughter for C hristmas but it will not be a celebration for me this year or any year now.I cannot handle this life without her ,I am trying but without her I am nothing.Love to you all Michael.
It will get easier I lost my husband two months ago and your appetite will come back mine did
It’s all consuming and relentless, utterly exhausting. If this way of existence was anything other than loss, if it was a bad situation or relationship with someone or something that gives this much sorrow & grief then I would have just given it up.
But you can’t walk away from this can you
It’s like a rest-of-life sentence with no reprieve
Some asked me if I’d seen the wonderful m&s Christmas food brochure. I didn’t even answer, for me Christmas will be a punishment & if I ate a meal I think I would be sick.
I live on toast, crackers & cornflakes.
It’s never ending, l am always glad when l go to sleep, then just for a few hours l don’t feel pain
Sleep is hard too, but it is a release for a short time from the all consuming pain, longing & loneliness
What a lovely Idea to write a journal of your life together 
I might try that. I lost my partner in July.
Si sorry for your loss 50 is far too young to go. I lost my partner of 16 years in July and he would have been 54 today. Hope u start to have some better days soon.
Hi hilslarie. I too wrote about my son when he died. He was 24. I basically wrote his biography from he was born up until he died. It was the best thing I ever did ( under the circumstances). I found it helped immensely. Keep it up 