Lost and lonely after mum has gone

Losing a parent
1

I’m not sure where to start I lost my mum to sepsis last Saturday and I’ve been on auto pilot initially my husband was supportive but now I feel he’s impatient with my grief to the point I feel I can’t even cry. Today I went with my step father to register her death I’ve felt emotionally drained and completely detached but this evening he’s been on at me about sorting out the rental property we own (I need to clear the house) that I haven’t done - he’s been so cruel and dismissive of my family’s grief today and we’ve not even had her funeral yet!

There are a lot of personal items of mine at the property that she’s given me over the years jewellery she’s made photographs etc I just want the time to go through it but he said he’s going to go in a throw everything in the skip. I have to work in the morning as there is a handover that I have to attend or some corporate bollocks like that so I won’t be here and I’m panicking now, I don’t feel like I have the ability to cope without her I’m numb she was my best friend and I’m just so sad she’s gone. I understand that he’s under a lot of pressure but I can’t stand that he’s just normal I’m so resentful and I just keep thinking that if this was his mum it would be so different - so now I can add shame to the list of emotions that I can’t deal with

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Aww bless you feel so sorry for your whole situation. Lost my Mam 6 weeks ago and absolutely devastated. Really hope you get some support. Sounds like a horror man. Keep strong

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Ali-bee the early days are so very hard, I feel for you. Try to make sure you take all the time you need to grieve and process your loss. I also found other peoples’ frustration with my sadness very upsetting. I’m still going through my mum’s things slowly and I’m a year in. Everything brings back so many memories and it must be very difficult to feel rushed.
Look after yourself.

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You are going through a lot losing a parent is hard enough. But having to cope with not having full support isn’t helping. Feel for you at this most difficult time. Take care Mark

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I cannot believe that after a week … you had your mother your whole life.

Just because someone is being hard on you, does not mean that they are morally in the right.

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Hi I lost my mum two months ago and am really struggling my partner of 12 years as been similar to your husband and as totally let me down. He got angry at me 3 weeks ago and threw a card at me with a counsellors number on and told me he couldn’t help me so I should ring it!! All I wanted to do was vent and have somebody there to listen to me and support me but it seems I am very much alone right now. Sending you hugs xx

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My husband has been the same, lost my Mam 7 weeks ago, he has no idea about grief, he hasn’t lost anyone that’s his hole world.
He has no idea what to say to me so most of the time says nothing. It now has made me feel like i dont want to talk to him anyway.
I often think when he comes home from work, and sees me, is he thinking… shes still miserable…
I understand that he doesn’t know what to say but just a hug goes a long way doesn’t it

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I think men are bad at this.

some men … I recall my friend telling me same her husband did not allow her to grieve.

this is on them, as they say. they are not right in this circumstance.

men can be obdurate. this is your grief. the less they care the longer it will take.

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@Ali-Bee
@Bea3
@Cham8760
How are you all doing?

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Hi, I’ve been mostly ok thanks. I’m at mum’s house today though and miss her so much. I’ve been dreaming about her too, then wake and remember she’s gone.
I hope everyone else is doing ok x

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