Hi all
My mum passed in january I’ve still not had a funeral I’m lost with all that needs doing and and costs doing it alone - the stress is too much
Dear @Lilacheart,
It is good that you have come to this site to seek support. It must be very hard for you to have to deal with everything on your own. Is there no other relative or friend who can give you a helping hand?
Tillwemeetagain has already giving you some helpful tips. You may also find it helpful to visit this page on the Sue Ryder website where they have put together information about all the practical things that need to be done when you have lost a loved one:https://www.sueryder.org/how-we-can-help/bereavement-information/practical-issues
Please feel free to post any questions you have. There are many people on this site who have been in the situation you are in right now and there will always be someone who replies, Jo
I am so sorry for your loss. My mum passed at the end of January too, so I understand that the early days feel bewildering. Do you have anyone in your life to support you? Maybe a family member, partner, close friend? I found it really helpful to have someone to sense check things with when my brain was all jumbled up.
Try to not get too bogged down in everything. Are you able to arrange the funeral yet? Or are you waiting for coroner’s investigations etc? You can still speak to a local funeral director and start making decisions even if you’re not sure when you can have the funeral - the funeral director I used was genuinely one of the most compassionate people I have ever had to deal with. She’s still supporting me now with interring mums ashes and listening to me slowly losing my marbles.
You can deal with everything else afterwards, there’s no rush, and it doesn’t necessarily make it any easier to get everything sorted immediately.
If you need to talk to someone 1:1, please do not hesitate to message me. Thinking of you xx
Thank you so very much - i only came on here that one time so i didnt see any messages- i was very lost - but everything was completed on august 24th - sadly there were a lot of things that didnt happen such as a funeral due to lack of money and support - i did everything alone including going to her inquest - im so very proud of myself and anyone else who has gone through it alone. I still have her ashes i found it strange at first now i find it a comfort - after new year the coroner has invited me to see the cctv of her final movements that day - i hope to say goodbye then.
Peace love and understanding oh and Happy Christmas