Lost both my parents in 2017 only 7 weeks apart

Hi I lost both my parents and my auntie in 2017 all with in 5 months. I’m a single dad I was at the time and still am now, so had to deal with all the grief alone without support at home. I never put on my children but I’m glad I had them around as I don’t know where I would of been then with them.
As a person it’s changed the way I am, I’m not out going anymore, had Counciling when I lost my mum but never really helped as my dad was dying at the same time due to Parkinson’s because once I told him that my mum had died he just gave up on life wouldn’t eat so I had to watch him die over a 7 week period, my parents lived in Buckinghamshire but social services put my dad in care when my mum was rushed into hospital as she was his carer but they put him in slough which was an hours drive door to door and I was doing that 3-4 times a week every week until he passed away so never had the chance to mourn my mum or my dad and I’ve just never been the same person since.

Hello, thank you for sharing your story and my heart aches for you. I can understand totally how you feel stuck and it must be hard not giving in when you have children needing your time and attention. I know you said that you had counselling but have you thought about trying it again because it’s a while since you lost both of your parents. It may be the help you need to move forward, even just a little. Sue Ryder or Cruse and some local councils do have a bereavement section, anyway just a thought. The pandemic as not help any of us as afar as going out and meeting people but now could the time to think about extending your horizons. I do hope you can find the strength to think about you and your future and I am sure your parents would agree. Look after yourself and take care. S xxx

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Thank you susie for you kind words I will try. I found Counciling hard as never really knew what to talk about and at the time had so much to deal with and sort out so never really helped and my work paid for it.
Think I only had 4 sessions when I could have 6 but once my dad went it was a massive weight of my mind had my 4th after he went so never had the other 2.
I was hoping to of found a relationship by now which would help by I end up pushing them away because I’m worried that I’ll get Parkinson’s like my dad and they will have to go through what my mum had to which wasn’t nice and I can’t get that feeling out of my head.

Thank you for listening susie take care x

Please don’t push any person away because you fear getting Parkinson’s , it’s only a small percentage that it has been passed down and you never know what will happen in our future years. We don’t have a crystal ball nor do we come with a date stamp on our foreheads. You need to think through your fears and overcome them before it stops you living. We are only here for a short time, so please make the most of your life and not only for your own sake but for your children, they need and deserve a happy dad. Ok, lecture over for tonight. Look after yourself and stay safe but not alone. S xxx

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It sounds as though you have put other people first for a long time - your parents and your children. You need to be kind to yourself and have more of a balance in your life. It sounds as though you are trying to not cause anybody else pain, just in case. Like Susie says, it’s only a small proportion of people who have Parkinson’s because it’s in the family. Your thoughtfulness and care would make you a good partner for someone. Take care

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Thank you jules, I’ve put others 1st for so long it’s hard to change and like susie said we’re only here for a short while so I need to try and change my way of thinking.
Take care and thank you

Thank you and I know you’re right. X

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