Hi, I lost both my mum and dad this week due to Covid, I haven’t even begun to grieve but I feel like sometimes I have a real sense of panic. I actually can’t believe they have gone! They both died within 3 weeks of their positive test. I feel a bit lost, not sure how I’m supposed to feel or what I’m supposed to do.
1 Like
Omg I’m so so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you. The only advice I can give you right now is just to do the next right thing. One step at a time. No matter how small. Just getting out if bed. Then next thing brush your teeth and get dressed. One step at a time. Im so sorry 
Thank you. That’s what I’ve been doing and trying to keep myself busy but when the kids are in bed and I’m sitting alone, I feel a real sense of panic that I no longer have parents. They are leaving a huge hole in my life
Nights are the worst. I’m still not sleeping. IV even tried yoga today see if that helps. IV bought a brilliant book called overcoming grief it keeps my mind occupied at night when I’m upset maybe it could help you? But please just cry when you need to, keep busy, talk about it the days will get further between from when you last cried. But the nights… when your alone, I can’t help you… just yet I hope anyways 
. Anything that your feeling too. Please just write on here. Even if no one replies just typing or even writing it out 1. Occupies you again. 2. Let’s you express and unload the smallest spec of what is such a heavy weight in your heart but helps. Xx
Dear Pat3
My heart goes out to you. To loose both parents within 2 days must be a truly heartbreaking experience. A few years ago in the night after my dad died our mum collapsed and we thought we were loosing her too. I remember the sheer panic I felt, so I can understand you have this sense of panic. Grief expresses itself in many forms and people on this site have described so many different emotions. Each person is different and there is no right way of how you are supposed to feel. Just follow your heart. The coning days you will probably have to be involved in so many practical arrangements and even just doing the normal day to day things may take all the energy you have, leaving not much time to deal with any emotions. I remember the first week after my dad’s death felt like I was in a dream and on auto-pilot. The tears and sadness came much later. Do you have a partner or siblings who can support you? I saw from your replies to Rhi3 that you have children . How old are they? It mus be a real shock for them too to suddenly loose their grandparents. It is good that you have come to this site. Please post as often as you want to. I wished I could give you a big hug.
Jo
I really feel for you. I lost my parents this year, 38 weeks apart. I’m heartbroken and the emptiness and anger you must feel must be just horrendous.
Do you have siblings to talk to? Or good friends?
Yeah I have a brother and a sister and we have been together so much in the last couple of weeks, we really do need each other the now. Although I think we try and hold it together for each other. I also have 2 children who are both devastated at the loss, my little girl especially, her granda was her heart friend. I’m trying to take 1 day at a time but sometimes it feels so overwhelming.
This is just so awful, my heart goes out to you. I think you will be in shock for quite a while and all of us who have lost parents to covid can understand the particularly horrific circumstances that this disease is continuing to inflict on people. To know that others have experienced some of the same life changing, gut wrenching grief helps but does not diminish how you feel. Keep talking on here when you can i have found it has provided some sanity when I felt that i was going to be overwhelmed. To lose both parents so close together is appalling, i do have friends that this has happened too, but not from covid and these circumstances are just so uniquely grim.
There are no words really that can change things for you but please know there is not one of us, who has lost someone to covid, whose heart does not go out to you. Please make sure you reach out for support in anyway you can, there are so many people on this forum who despite grieving themselves are such generous hearts and will try to help you. Please be kind and gentle with yourself and know we are all wishing you the best. Virtual hugs
Shurl
Ps I agree the nights are the worst, I still wake at two and three am and cant sleep. I listen to audio books which I can sometimes fall asleep to. Sometimes i watch ridiculous things on utube, that sounds frivolous but I try to watch something completely non real to stop my brain going over and over things. There are no right or wrong ways to cope whatever helps, wishing you all the strength to cope and grieve to get you through this.
1 Like
Dear Pat3,
My heart goes out to you, as does my love and best wishes,
I lost my Helen in June, and all these months later, the devastating effects are slowly taking affect on the family.
Enough of my part. Except I can truly understand, I have found friends who have been through similar are the most understanding and empathetic instead of synthetic.
I can only say of how time alters the way that thoughts of the loved ones, alter, mellow, and improve. Although the process is painful, it’s worth allowing yourself the luxury of letting your emotions flow. Don’t bottle them. My lass was diagnosed in February with a respiratory and cardiac problem, she entered hospital for tests, contracted the virus on her 9th day, fought it enough to be diagnosed as clear, and free, but the dead cells in her lungs, previously affected by pneumonia and smoking, could not remove or combat the effects of the dead virus, this caused a secondary infection in June, and her passing. So perhaps the passing within a short time was less of a suffering.
Again my heart goes out to you, as does my love and best wishes. Colin
Pat I am so so sorry for your losses. Xx
How horrendous for you, I can’t even imagine and struggle with just loosing my mum.
There is no sound louder than the silence of the night. In the end I would pick long films like Forrest Gump to watch just in the back ground until I eventually cried myself to sleep, screaming into a pillow so not to wake my kids up. The saddest thing is that even if I was in a room full of people I still would have felt that lonely.
I have no advice apart from just take each day as it comes and congratulate yourself for everyday you get through.
Really am sorry for
Alyson x
I just joined this site because I lost both my parents to covid this year too. They died 17 days apart, and although I thought I was getting through things, I’m struggling again this weekend. Grief comes in waves, just like covid.
Your losses happened more quickly and more recently. You’ve hardly had any time to think about this.
I just wondered how you are today?
I think the only thing you can do to begin with is go through the process of the funerals and legal bits that need done, one at a time. Even if you feel numb through it all.
Banks and folk chasing for bills etc are very understanding and will take a pause of you are able to just contact them and tell them what’s happened. It buys you some time to think.
You’ll feel ok one minute then you’ll see or hear something that just reminds you of one of them. Happens on the oddest places at oddest times. Knocks the breath out of you. And that thought of suddenly being an orphan…I don’t know how to deal with that either. 
Thank you for all your thoughts, wishes and advice. I truly am grateful for them all. I’ve been keeping myself so busy that there hasn’t been time to think about anything else, but now Christmas is over the grief is taking hold on far more regular waves. I think about the strangest things, like my mums driving, my dad’s smile at the door when we visited, both of their love for my children. I am missing phoning my mum which I used to do on a nightly basis. I keep reminding myself that I just need to keep going and breathe, one step at a time, but it hurts so much sometimes.
I feel you pain. I lost mum 6/1/2021 and dad 18/1/2021, both to Covid Pneumonia .
I go to their house and talk to them as I look through boxes of photos and I find comfort in that.
But like you, at night, I don’t sleep well and if I do, I wake with terrible knots in my stomach. I have a little cry to untie the knots amd tell them I love them.
They had been together since they were 16 and married 60 years. They wwew both 83.
SteveJLee
1 Like
I am so sorry Steve. Tragic, just tragic 
I’m so sorry for your loss Steve! It is awful losing a parent at anytime but 2 in such a short time is unbelievable and heartbreaking. I still find nights the hardest I think that’s just the way things will be now. I keep myself busy during the day with work and kids, but it sometimes feels like I’m putting on a face for the outside world. I know things will get easier and I know I’ll cope with the pain better in time, everything is still so raw and because Covid is still with us I feel like it’s a constant reminder. I was very lucky though and I got to be with my mum as she passed.