Lost & broken

I very suddenly & unexpectedly lost my Dad on 13th August 2022, then 2 days later I lost my Husband of 16 years after a long battle with COPD.
I have 2 children (12 & 14) and I’m just 38. I suffer with panic and anxiety and I just feel completely lost and broken. I feel so sorry for my children loosing their Dad & Grandad who was basically a 2nd Dad to them but they seem to be stronger than me, it should be me looking after them not the other way round. I have cried every single day since & the pain just doesn’t seem to ease. My Husband was my comfort when I was anxious & I so needed him when I lost my Dad, I can’t get into my head that I’m never going to see them again. I’m honestly just broken.


Hi I’m sorry for your loss both of them, i’m 37 and suddenly unexpectedly lost my other half 3 weeks ago my son is 12, we are struggling broken hearted and have no clue how the hell we are going to get on with life.
I 2 feel lost heart broken just a wreck my life is ruined and how the hell can we carry on with life. My heart is so heavy and in million pieces. Iv just joined this 2 find and chat 2 ppl going through same cos my friends and family have no clue how it feels


Such a traumatic time for you all, losing two family members like that. I understand when you say your kids seem to be coping better than you. I feel the same. They look after me but at times I can see that my behaviour stresses them.
I hope you have support around you. I start counselling next week but my kids(young adults) seem reluctant just now.
Thinking of you and hoping you have some days which have moments of lightness. I sang a song yesterday which came on the radio for about 2 mins…then almost felt that I realised what I was doing and stopped.


I am so so sorry for your loss. It’s just awful isn’t it. I literally just don’t know what im going to do. Im not working at the moment due to my mental health so when the kids go to school im just so lonely. I’ve had my husband here with me every day when I was caring for him and now he’s just gone. My Dad was my rock, he helped with everything & we were 2 peas in a pod. I feel like im going backwards again at the moment. It’s still very early for you, but I feel like im back at the beginning again. Christmas doesn’t help I suppose. I can’t even bare the thought of putting the decorations up but the kids want to, I just have no motivation.
My friends just don’t get it, they try to be there but they don’t really understand and I don’t want to drag them down with my sadness. If you ever want to talk please message me. We are the same age with same aged kids. Xxx

Thank you for your message. Yes I feel the same, the kids don’t like seeing me so down, they should feel they can lean on me except they feel they don’t want to upset me.
I’m lucky that the kids have fantastic support at school who have provided counselling for them.
I do have people, my mum and brother live near but obviously they’re suffering too. I’m on a waiting list for a therapist so that’s why I thought I’d come here. Xxx

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I was told 8 week waiting list for Cruse but actually got offered an appointment for 4 weeks so hopefully you will get something soon.
I have just lost it again over another pile of admin that I can’t deal with - I honestly can’t cope with it and panic about what I’ve not done on a daily basis. I hate that you are completely left on your own to deal with everything. My husband had no system for anything so I can’t find stuff and it sets me into a downward spiral, which my kids then have to deal with. Meanwhile folk want to visit, not realising that I actually have twenty million things to do. But seeing them can be a real tonic too.
I really hope you can get some support soon but having people to talk to on here is a huge help.

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