Lost close relative

Hi all. Im 33 years old and I lost a grandparent a few days ago to which I love dearly and we were close (1st time ive lost someone close to me). She had other health issues but her passing was unexpected and suddenly happened so was a complete shock. I was absolutely heartbroken the day we lost her and cried most of the day, the day after I lost her again I cried alot. However after those 2 days I haven’t cried as much as I thought I would, I’ve had a few tears throughout the day but that is it. Why am I suddenly not able to cry? I feel so so down and exhausted all the time and feel like I want to cry all the time but I just can’t. I feel like none of this is real and just a bad nightmare. I’m finding myself quiet at work and when I get home from work I find myself just sitting there hardly speaking to my partner. I’m absolutely devasted she is no longer here I really am and me and my partner get married next year and devastated that she won’t be there on our day. What is wrong with me

Hi star87
There is nothing wrong with you, it’s normal to cry a lot and then go numb it’s what happens. It will make you feel tired and exhausted and will be difficult. But as you give it time it get easier. It will feel like this for a wee while but you have to keep going and continuing on with your life.
You could wear one of you granny’s necklaces or a bracelet on you wedding day that she will be there with you. Your doing really well keep going it will get easier.

Hi stars23
Thank you for your kind words, I just feel so guilty about not crying as much as I feel I should. At the moment I’m just taking one day at a time. As regards to wearing something of hers on my wedding day is a brilliant idea one I hadn’t thought of so thank you for.

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