Lost future…..

It will be 48 weeks tomorrow that Ian passed away suddenly and unexpectedly from cancer. I’m still struggling and am finding it so hard to pick up the pieces of my shattered life.

I have often read or been advised to remember the good times Ian and I had together and all the lovely memories we made. I just can’t do that at the moment. All I can think of is the future that was so cruelly taken away from Ian and all the memories that we had planned to make……
That is what is so hard to come to terms with. Our future together would have been a happy one and everyday I mourn the loss of it.

X Julie


Dear Julie

Its just over 18 months for me and like you have highlighted memories are not enough. We had planned our retirement, our future, and in the blink of an eye it was taken away. It was a future of adventures, sitting doing nothing but enjoying each others company and enjoying time with our grandchildren.

I struggle to understand why we could not just be allowed to have this time. I struggle to understand why we worked so hard and when retirement was only weeks away our world was destroyed. I see an image looking back at me in the mirror and its not someone I recognise and I know that I can never be the person I was before my husband died.

Sheila x


It’s been 15 weeks since I lost my husband, we were together for 25 years and have a 19 year old son, he was only 47 years old and it was totally unexpected and such a massive shock, I dont think we will ever get over it, our hearts are broken :broken_heart:


Hello to each one of you here. I read your messages with a full heart, and I’m sorry for the loss of your husbands’ which has had such a huge impact on your lives.

Keep reaching out to one another, sharing experiences in the grieving process is so helpful, even though we each deal with loss individually.

My thoughts and love,


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Dear Julie,

When my dad died aged 57 years of age, 54 years ago, I remember a neighbour telling my mum that she should cherish all the memories they shared over the years, my mum turned round and said, I don’t want memories, I want my husband.

That is how I feel, I have wonderful memories but that means I live in the past such a lot of the time, remembering what was.

Like Sheila26 said, I also look in the mirror and think the same, I am no longer the girl, woman I used to be when Peter was here, when he died he took my soul with him.

Sheila (Lonely)


It’s so upsetting isn’t it. We were the same robbed of our retirement. Yes the happy memories are good but we wanted to make so many more.
Take care xx


I echo every word Sheila.

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