Lost Husband and Mum so close together

Hello everyone. Thank you for adding me to your site. My Husband died suddenly of a heart attack on Christmas day 2017. He was literally there one minute and gone the next. It was reeling with the shock of his sudden loss, and felt completely numb. Thanken just just 4 weeks later My Mum died. At first I was so busy dealing with all of the admin that goes with the loss that I hadn’t time to think about how I was feeling. My stepfather is relying on me to help him through his bereavement and I feel snowed under at the moment. I thought that I was coping but for the past 2 weeks I have been having terrible hours of anxiety. My stomach turns over and I find myself worrying about everything. Is this normal? I hate feeling like this.

Hi Kezz,

I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve lost both your husband and Mum so recently. It must have been so difficult for you coping with the loss of your husband so suddenly on Christmas day and then losing your Mum 4 weeks later. I’m not surprised that you’re struggling at the moment and suffering with anxiety.

I lost my Mum 4 years ago. She was my best friend & I was completely devastated. Since then I have also struggled with anxiety and worry a lot. It has eased over the years but it still comes back sometimes. So yes, what you’re expereincing and feeling is completely normal. You’re not alone.

I also had a similiar situation with my Dad. I was spending all my time making sure he was ok & neglecting my own needs. I had some bereavement counselling which really helped me. It was my counsellor who pointed out that I wasn’t making any time for myself which was wrong. You need to take care of yourself right now & not feel guilty or selfish for doing so. You are very important so please to be kind to yourself, making sure you’re eating and relaxing when you need to.

There are loads of wonderful supportive people on the forum who will understand what you’re going through.

Keep talking to us & take care. Trudy x

Thank you. I feel better just from reading some of the posts from other members. I don’t feel isolated knowing that others are having the same feelings. I am very glad that I found this forum.

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